Juxtaposed
by The Two Sides Of Fate
Summary: \CURRENTLY UNDERGOING SERIOUS REVISION/ After his final battle with Ichigo in the inner world the hollow wakes up in a situation he didn't quite expect. Could a 'normal' life really be possible for a hollow? No pairings. Rated T for profanity.
1. Heartbeat

_Trust_

_It was the first lesson I'd ever tried to teach Ichigo. Zangetsu and I both…tried to teach him._

"_When two who do not trust each other fight together, the strength in each is diminished; they only damage each other's strength." _

_I would've thought…he'd listen. Maybe not to me, but Zangetsu for sure…_

_How stupid._

_As if he could actually ever learn a thing, that idiot. As if he'd ever listen. That was my own stupid fault for…believing in him. Even if it was only for a little while I still had thought we could've been partners. Now it was stuck on me, the humiliation of being not only proved wrong but tossed aside as well. Stepped on and treated like a monster; I had every right to fulfil that role! If he wanted me to be a monster then a fucking monster he'd get!_

_But no…apparently that was wrong too. Trust him and he throws you away, don't trust him and he tries to kill you…so stupid… _

_And now what? I didn't even know where the hell I was let alone how I was even planning on "appearing again before he died". There was nothing, just nothing. Was this death? I didn't know. I was completely lost. If I wasn't dead then I'd never been in this part of Ichigo's unconscious before. At least not since I'd become _me_. I guess it _was_ death._

_I didn't like it here._

_Would I just fade away then? Or would I hang around here forever, until Ichigo died, like I had implied to him I would? Again, I didn't know. Death should have more understanding than this, I thought._

_I missed something…_

_Something I…_

_-_

_-_

_Trust_

_It was the first lesson I'd ever tried to teach Ichigo. _

_I…_

_How stupid…_

_-_

_Would I just fade away then…? _

…_Be trapped here forever…_

_I…_

…_Not since I'd become me_…

…_a monster…_

_-_

_-_

"_Take care…!"_

_-_

_So this was death then…_

_I…_

_I didn't like it here._

_-_

_-_

_-_

_I want to go home. _

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_I want…_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

* * *

I felt warm. Very oddly warm. I didn't understand it. Wasn't my body temperature usually colder than this? Actually that made even less sense; I shouldn't have a body right now. I should either be a part of Zangetsu or floating somewhere in inexistence. What the hell?

But, no; I was really, really warm. And damn, comfortable too. More comfortable than I'd been since…well, since I wasn't even _me_. Since I'd been _Ichigo-_ not just a part of him- and his-our mother would tuck me, er…him…us (?) into bed at night.

Weird.

I didn't want to wake up. I could feel the burning light of the sun trying to pry my eyes open, along with a soft beeping sound trying to invade my groggy brain, but I kept my eyes firmly shut. I tried to shove the beeping out and ignore it but it was making my head spin like crazy-another good reason why I didn't want to open my eyes because hell knows how disorienting Ichigo's inner world can be. Seriously, if I didn't know better-which I didn't- I'd say I'd been drugged.

It would've explained things if Ichigo had ever done drugs; Effed up side ways world, _Zangetsu_ (Do I even _need _to explain that one? Just think of all the stash he could be hiding in that cloak-thing), the stupid half-brained decisions he made sometimes and the list goes on. According to our-_his_ memories he was clean. Unless someone had slipped him something in a drink or in his food…Wouldn't put it past goat-chin to do that. The old bastard was more out to get Ichigo than I was.

I twitched my fingers, just to feel if they were still there then moved my hand up to rub the side of my head. Sloshy was the only word that could properly describe the way it felt. Through the mess that was my mind I could only kind of remember what had happened. Ichigo and I had been fighting, over control no doubt. He had stabbed me and I blew up. And shattered at the same time? Shit, no wonder my head was sloshy.

I sighed. Ah, well, could've been worse. Could've been a lot-_huh?_

My eyes snapped open and I looked down at my hand. There was a wire sticking out of my wrist. Why the hell was there a wire sticking out of my wrist? I propped myself up and looked at my surroundings. I wasn't in the inner world. There was no Zangetsu here. I wasn't in Ichigo's mind. I wasn't even in his soul. I was…? Oh, fuck no.

My instincts took over then. I tore at the wire attempting to rip it from my flesh. I scratched at the skin and pulled at it. Stuck. Shit. Better using my teeth instead. I tried again. No. Grinding it in half didn't work either. Something sharper? _Zangetsu_. Not here. A different blade? Glass, maybe. Where was…a window!

I attempted to leap of the bed but quickly discovered I was attached to something. An IV? I had to break it then. If the wire wouldn't break I had no choice. I turned towards it. Just a nice snap should do it. Nice and-

"Shiro!! What the fuck!? What're you _doing_?!"

Something hit me. _Someone._ I turned to growl at them for making me drop the IV and for distracting me.

And nearly choked to death.

"Honestly Shiro, I know you don't like hospitals, but get a grip! Lie back down!" He yelled at me. He shoved me back down onto the pillow. "God dammit. Out for that long and you wake up like this? I swear, the people here don't even know what they're doing, they just drug everyone up with whatever crap they find to keep them unconscious." He huffed shaking his head. He righted the dropped IV and sat down onto a chair positioned conveniently close to the bed I was on.

I couldn't breathe. Hell, I couldn't even think. He was looking at me waiting for me to say something and I was staring at him dumbfounded, completely unresponsive, mouth hanging open for the flies to get in. The only thing that interrupted the silence was the weird beeping noise.

"…_Ichigo?_" Oh freaking wow. This moment was brought to you by '_Inherited stupidity_', because you just can't escape it when your _other half_ is an idiot. Now someone- _anyone,_ please; just shoot me now and get it over with.

"What am I doing here?" I asked my throat a little raspy. I am literally going against all my rules acting like this. If it were the king acting like this and I was sitting _right there_ he'd be done, buried, and have 'Idiot' carved directly onto his tombstone. He was looking at me concerned. Never had I seen him look at me with anything more than anger, shock, or disgust; usually all three. To top it all off, he looked like he hadn't slept in days- bags under his eyes and all. Forget me being a little drugged; Ichigo was on some much crazier shit.

"How…?" Oh screw this.

"Actually…more to the point," a wild grin began forming across my face, "What made you decide not to kill me after all and which crazy-assed person helped you out with this royal screw up?"

Now that was more like it. Ichigo just stared at me.

"…_What!?_"

"You dumb-ass, you should've killed me while you had the chance. I told you if you let up, you'd die and you go and bring me to a _hospital?_" I scoffed. I couldn't help myself; I started laughing. "I swear; your intelligence knows no bounds, King! Oh man…"

"Um, Shiro, are you alright?" Ichigo sat on the edge of his chair and looked about ready to run for the door, definately more than a little bemused.

I snickered. "Who's Shiro? Are you mocking me, King?"

He lent over and, to my surprise, placed a hand on my forehead. My laughing stopped almost instantaneously. _What did he think he was doing?_ I smacked his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed at him, fury tainting my expression. He pulled back in bewilderment.

His supposed concern; it left a vile taste in my mouth. I didn't need his concern. I didn't want it! What was it that always made Ichigo think he had the right to do whatever he wanted? He disgusts me.

In an acid tone I asked him again; "Why didn't you kill me?"

He looked at me with an unsettling expression and then shook his head, torn and defeated. "Shiro, you need help. I'm getting the nurse and you're gonna get some more rest." He began to walk out of the room.

"You're just not making any sense right now, I'm gonna go get Da-"

"If you move one more step it'll be the last ya' ever see of me, Ichigo," I said coolly. The words escaped me and I balked at my own stupid self. Why did I say it? Well fuck, I don't know! To my surprise he stopped where he was. I could feel the weight of the sentence between us. Slowly he turned to meet my eyes. His irises burned bronze flames. They were trying to devour everything, all the oxygen in the air, yet they moved in fear; like a threatened animal. Had _that_ actually threatened him? He'd been wishing for me to disappear since the first he'd met me. How was that a threat? I didn't know what I was saying but I let instinct take over yet again.

I stepped down onto the hospital floor my feet smacking against the cool tiles. I wobbled unsteadily, then righted myself. My legs were unpleasently stiff and a little hard to move. It made me question my non-threat's validity but Ichigo seemed to take me seriously. He moved closer without breaking eye contact with me and sat back down onto the chair. I stood in front of my silenced identical and internally sighed.

"Now answer my question; why didn't ya' kill me?"

He ran a hand through his tousled orange spikes and his frown deepened. "I really don't know what you're talking about, Shiro. Why _would_ I kill you?"

_Huh?_ "Because it's _me_, that's why. And what is all this 'Shiro'? I really don't like bein' mocked because of the way I look."

"I'm not mocking the way you look! That's your name! You told me not to call you Mashiro and to call you Shiro!" Ichigo retorted.

"When have I ever been called Mashiro? I don't have a name!" I snapped back in frustration. This was really going nowhere.

"Um, since your _birth_?!" He answered in riposte.

"My birth? What would you know about my birth? You don't know fuck all about me! You were so concerned over your little Shinigami woes, to busy to even realise that a part of you got real _fucked over_ in the whole power returning deal! You didn't even notice I was there!" I snarled fiercely. Damn, I was just _that_ far from killing him. I only needed the stupid wire to reach a bit longer.

"Would you listen to yourself? You're crazy! _Shinigami?_ What the hell kinda shit have they been giving you?"

"That's what _I'd_ like to know too! But no one seems to wanna give me a damn answer when I ask them a simple question, so there's really no use in asking is there?"

"You're insane! I've answered every one of your questions! I didn't realise you were gonna go all suicidal on me when you woke up, but I'm sorry I refuse to kill my twin brother!"

"Are you dense? You haven't answered all my questions! Seriously, you are the most………_WHAT!?_"

Ichigo twitched in irritation. "I said; 'I'm not going to kill my crazy-ass brother'." He repeated slowly, making sure to enunciate each and every word.

Then out of the blue a meteor came down and destroyed the earth and all its inhabitants. There were no survivors. All the dead spirits, shingami, and hollows were swallowed up by a massive black hole never to be seen again.

_I'm sorry sir, can you repeat that? My brain has just imploded due to a malfunction relating to the fact that_ _I've **lost my fucking mind! **_Seriously, where are the flying pink elephants? If I've lost my mind I wanna see some flying pink elephants.

A dream maybe? More like a nightmare. A part of Ichigo's subconscious? But then what, he has an inner world _and_ inner alternate dimension? Or maybe this is what happened when you were killed as an inner hollow; you were forced from one hell hole into another for the rest of eternity because you aren't a complete soul in the first place. I growled and slumped down onto the hospital bed.

_I think…I hate this already._

And that's when I finally noticed where the beeping was coming from; a machine close by to my bed, also attached to me. It had a screen where you could watch a little green line rise and fall like little mountains. Each and every flash was preceded by the soft beeping. It was a hypnotizing little thing; a heart monitor.

I had a heartbeat.

* * *

**I'm not sure where I was going with this, it's probably one of the most half-assed things I've done and liked. A lot of profanity. Drugs mentioned. [Holy crap, did I really write this?] I apoligize.**

**I edited this chapter a tiny bit. I may edit it a bit more later but for now I'll leave it alone. All the points are still the same though so you don't have to re-read it. **

**EDITED AGAIN: I have decided (as of chapter six being written). This fic will have no pairings in it, none whatsoever. However there will be a lot of brotherliness on Ichigo's and Shiro's part. If you are okay with that, great, if not, well...I geuss you'll just have to find something else to read. Anyway, to those who aren't concerned with seeing a pairing in this and want to read on, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.**

**Reviews keep me writing. Please Review.**

_**P.S. I changed the title of this story from Juxtaposure to Juxtaposed. I liked the old title better because of it's smooth sound but I want this story to be at least a little decent. Hopefully I didn't confuse too many.**_


	2. Family

I remember when I first woke up.

Zangetsu was there. Even if it was no one else I felt relief I wasn't alone.

He was explaining to me what happened. He told me how I'd gotten my shinigami powers back but a part of me had already become a hollow. I was that part. I honestly felt it wasn't that much a big deal. Yeah, it kinda sucked but what good would it do me moping about what I couldn't change, right? Though I guess it wasn't really true for everything, it worked for me at the time.

I was different now. My voice had changed, It was a little higher, had a watery echo. My nails were black-that amused me a bit- and my skin and hair had become a pure white. I thought things in ways I hadn't before. I was more optimistic, I think. Kinda like in that old saying about when you hit the bottom you can only go up.

I wasn't so sure who or _what_ I was anymore but at the same time the answer was simple; I was me. I could apply that simple reasoning to any question I came up with. Where am I? I'm here. Why should I defeat them? Because they are weak. It was quick, easy logic and it gave me the best answers. Instinctively; that was the way my mind worked now.

I was completely a hollow. While I had no hollow hole within the world of Ichigo's mind there was still something that I had lost; my heartbeat was gone. I didn't know whether it had simply stopped beating or if it no longer existed. It didn't matter; hollows could function without their hearts and any of the other parts that were missing thanks to the hollow hole. It didn't matter. It shouldn't have mattered.

So why did I need to hear it so bad?

I groaned. Stupid memories weren't leaving me alone. Stupid world was still not back to normal yet. And I couldn't get the _stupid_ beeping out of my head!

Stupid Ichigo…everything was stupid-_So much for more optimistic_. I pulled the pillow down onto my head against my ears hoping to drown the beeping out, but it was impossible, I wasn't even in the hospital anymore. It was like it was stuck on a relapse in my head. That and the whole 'twin brother' thing.

Ahg, I'm not insane, dammit! Why must everything in the world make it seem like I am?

A few knockout drugs and a couple hours after 'the incident' of me acting all weird-according to Ichigo- and they brought me here. Don't ask me what happened, I was totally out for it all-whether that be because of the drugs or that I went into a temporary state of shock I'll leave up to the imagination. Where was here exactly? Well, I couldn't be sure as I literally just woke up but I would've had to have guessed this was none other than the Kurosaki Clinic. Joy.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and I curled up into an even tighter ball. "Shiro, it's no use, I know you're awake."

I said nothing in response hoping that my contempt for him would show through the silence.

"Shiro, enough of this. This is getting ridiculous," Ichigo huffed. He sounded exasperated. Good, he deserved to be.

"Shiro if you don't get up I'll sit on you until you do."

"…You'll sit on me?" I repeated dryly through the pillow. "Is that the best you could come up with?"

"Ah-ha! You spoke!"

"Aw, _go away_." I grumbled. I mentally noted the irony of the situation of me telling him to get lost while I tried to tune him out; _the tables are turned now_. Something about that made me want to throw up. I felt a sink in the bed as Ichigo sat down beside me. He rubbed my shoulder again and I clenched my teeth in a desperate attempt not to slaughter him.

"C'mon Shiro, aren't you hungry? You usually can eat a whole cow; you have to be hungry after eating nothing for that long," he urged me. I pulled the pillow tighter around my head. I didn't like thinking about being hungry. I didn't feel it within Ichigo's mind but in the few times out of it when I had gained control it burned brighter than the sun. I enjoyed the idea of spurting blood and slaughtering the enemy but I'd never wanted to eat anybody. And really, what else does a hollow get hungry for? Like I said; I didn't wanna think about it.

Still it _had_ been a while.

"How long?" I mused into the pillow.

"Hm? Did you say something?" Ichigo inquired, sounding surprised but annoyingly pleased that his bribe had forced a response. Again, I was trying not to slaughter.

I sighed, "How long have I been out, asleep, unconscious-whatever it was I was doin'?"

"So you admit all that stuff from before was just a dream?"

"_No_. And don't ya' get all cocky just because I'm playin' along," I retorted firmly. Suddenly the pillow was torn out from my grasp and sent flying across the room. I whipped around to glare at him.

"I was usin' that, jackass!"

"No you weren't," He roared back, his amber eyes burning into mine. "You were being mopey and using it to hide!"

"I'm not mopey, and I'm not hidin'! Why is it tha' whenever _I_ ask ya' a question you don't answer?" His mouth opened to argue then snapped shut. He turned his glare to the wall.

I hate talking to him. More, I hate dealing with him. It's the same thing no matter what happens; I scream at him, he screams at me, and nothing changes. '_Listen to me, let me fight, we can win!' 'No, this is my fight, disappear!' _It's all we do. I licked my lips allowing myself to taste their dry, salty flavour. I looked my '_twin_' up and down. His tousled orange hair practically glowed in the sunlight coming through the room's window. His nose was wrinkled in anger, mostly at the fact that he had nothing to say.

I sniffed, mildly amused at his response to my question, "Get out of my face Ichigo."

There was a heavy silence between the two of us but somehow it felt like we were still yelling. Ichigo huffed and stood up.

"Not a chance. You're coming with me and I'm gonna make you remember." Without another warning his hand was on my wrist and I was tugged off the bed. I stumbled forward on weak legs. My body felt so languid; it was an inevitability after being comatose in a hospital for who knows how long but an irritation all the same.

"Remember what? There's nothin' to remember!" I guffawed, trying to cover up how ill I felt, "Ichigo, I'm not going out there, just let me go." I struggled against his grip and was surprised to discover how much stronger he was than me. Hopefully my weakness was only temporary. He pulled me along past the cream coloured hospital curtain and toward the door. Was he really trying to bring me out there? I couldn't believe he was serious. He wanted me out _there_ with his family? Me and his family in the same room? _Without_ blood shed?

I laughed sharply, "Ichigo, if you're gonna do this at least give me something better than a hospital dress to go out in." He stopped and turned to look at me and I gave him my best shit-eating grin. I had to restrain myself from doing a curtsy. His frown deepened.

"Right…um, wait here, I'll get your stuff," He dropped my wrist and muttered something incoherent to himself as he walked out of the room. I smirked. He was such an idiot.

I strolled back over to the bed and climbed up on top of it so I could take a peak out the window. I held the curtain off to the side with my hand. It was weird. Staying perfectly silent and still, I could feel it in my chest; A perfect continuing rhythm of beats. It was like a small weight had been placed there- it wasn't unpleasant, rather it filled the emptiness that it once was. A little overwhelming how much the tiniest thing can have such an effect. Except…I had the feeling…I had stolen it. This body, as much as it looked like mine, -ivory skin with peculiar black nails and silvery white hair-was definitely human. Weird but human.

What did that mean? Was I no longer a hollow? No. Maybe in body I was human but not in soul. Past the comforting beating _it_ was still there. It was just…hiding. So where had the former occupant gone, this 'Shiro' guy? I'd already tried calling him in my own head to see if he would answer, but of course it didn't work. I don't think hollows can have inner worlds like Shinigami can. When a human becomes a hollow their heart is lost and their inner world crumbles because without it the mind can't keep it supported. I figured those Arrancar bastards were probably like me with their blade being like an appendage except that they used it to seal their power rather than unleash it.

I really had no idea where this guy went, and I was _not _gonna buckle down to Ichigo and admit he was me (seriously, you can only be so many different people at the same time before someone starts callin' on ya' for schizophrenia). I wondered if he and I were the same or maybe if he was more like Ichigo considering the twin thing. What was Shiro like? Did he and Ichigo get along? Did they have that deep familial bond twins have, where they trusted each other with their lives? Their souls even?

I frowned. I was thinking too much. I didn't even know if this place was even real or not. I'd just do what I said I was gonna do; play along until I found a way out. And hell, who knew? Maybe I could have a little fun while I was here! Getting a little chance at life as a human _and_ another opportunity to show Ichigo up at his own game? Hell yes. I could just taste it, the expression on his face…

I heard the door click and turned in time to catch a small black bundle. Ichigo moved to my side as I unravelled the bundle of clothes. Black shirt, Black jeans, black boxers, a black wrist band with a couple of bracelets, sunglasses, and-I raised my eyebrows at this.

"_A spiked collar?_ What the hell? What's with all the black?" I looked up at him with a smirk holding the collar up in my hand. I know I don't look half bad in Ichigo's colours, but _really?_

He gave a shrug, his expression unreadable. "They're _your_ clothes."

I looked back at the stuff he'd given me. My clothes, eh? This Shiro guy didn't have bad taste, even if it was a little…excessive. I stood up and tore the hospital robe off of me uttering a word of thanks to whatever was out there that I didn't have to wear it anymore than I did. I put on the boxers first then the pants, noticing as I buttoned them up just how stark in contrast they were to my skin. I pulled the shirt over my head and slipped my arms into the sleeves. The shirt was open at the shoulders; an unusual style but surprisingly appealing. Then, just for the laughs, I put the collar on too.

"Hey," I called, finally noticing Ichigo had gone. "Where'd you take off to? Are ya' that much of a prude you have ta' hide while I'm changin'? We look the exact same ya' know."

Ichigo's head came out from behind the cream curtain the rest of him following soon after. Ichigo grumbled, "I was giving you some privacy, glad you appreciated it."

I shrugged, "No problem. By the way…" I picked up the sunglasses and waved them a bit for measure, "What're these for? Am I goin' outside or somethin'?" I watched carefully as Ichigo's face hardened.

"They're for your eyes."

I rolled my eyes at his answer. "Well no shit, but why do I hafta' where 'em?"

Ichigo looked away uncomfortably and scratched the back of his head. "Well, they're for covering up …_you know_…you don't _have_ to where them, I guess…" I stared at him blankly. _Am I missing something here?_

Suddenly it hit me. "Oh, you mean my _eyes_! Zangetsu said something about that once! Can't see your reflection anywhere in that place; none of the windows reflect anything for some reason…are the Shiro guy's eyes really the same as mine?"

I had to laugh then. He had this look on his face like I had just randomly pulled a pan out of my ass and hit him in the face with it. Seriously, this rivalled his expression from the time I told him about instinct. And it didn't get much better than that.

I really didn't know what my eyes looked like. I don't remember who brought it up or how but I remembered Zangetsu telling me that my eyes were black. I'd been confused at first.

"_Black? What do you mean they're black?" I asked tilting my head to the side. Zangetsu was standing on his pole as per usual and looking at me with his normal apathetic expression. _

"_The sclera of your eyes is black. That's it. Your Irises are yellow."_

"_So they're hollow eyes is basically what you're saying, right?"_

"_If that's what you wish for them to be." He replied flatly. I rolled my eyes and stood up, unsheathing the blade Zangetsu so I could continue on in my training of getting strong enough to fight alongside Ichigo._

"_Whatever you say, Zangetsu-san."_

Hollow eyes were supposed to be pretty scary from the way it sounded. Surprising that a human should have hollow eyes…

I put the sunglasses on with a smirk. "Your brother was weird."

Ichigo frowned unhappily. "You _are_ my brother. Don't you remember _anything?_"

"Nope. And I'm not going to. You've got the wrong guy," I said simply, closing my eyes and stretching out my arms until a satisfying crack was heard. Ichigo continued to frown at me as I fell back onto the bed.

"That's impossible Shiro; I've been with you the whole time you were in the hospital." Ichigo said firmly. Yet, I could here the tiniest of semblances in his voice. I folded my arms behind my head.

"And i'll bet that wasn't only because you pushed me in front of a car or something," I countered sarcastically.

A strangled sort of squawk I hadn't expected sounded from Ichigo then. I opened my eyes in alarm to see him cover his face with his hand, his other arm wrapping tight around his stomach as if he were in pain. His body quivered and my eyes widened to see that his shoulders had begun to shake. _Was he…crying?_

"Wait! Look! I didn't mean it! I was just kidding! I-I didn't know…" Fuck. _Now what?_ Ichigo freaking Kurosaki was crying because his inner hollow/twin brother was pushed onto a road? God freaking _dammit!_ I couldn't believe this. Ichigo didn't cry. He got depressed a hell of a lot. He made it rain in waterfalls on me and Zangetsu, but Ichigo didn't cry. Especially not for me, but apparently all logic in this world was wonky.

I got up and reached a tentative hand up to his back. I didn't have a clue how to do this. He lent into me with ease not showing any signs of fear whatsoever. Unsure of how to respond, I let him.

"…Look, I'm sorry. I really _don't_ remember anything. I didn't know that what I said would have any meaning…" If there is anyone around with a recording device, I hope you've completed your wills because you die here.

"I really didn't mean anything…" I repeated. His shaking slowly began to calm and his hand dropped away from his face. I internally heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that his face and eyes were dry and free of tears, however red the area surrounding those bronze orbs had become. He muttered something too quiet for me to hear.

"What's that, King?" Shit. I should avoid calling him King when he's ready to bawl on me.

"It's okay;" his voice cracked "…You'll remember eventually." I said nothing as he straightened and smoothed out his appearance. He was such a liar, the only difference between the two different Ichigo's was that this one was better at it. Still sucked but was better. I shook it off, it wasn't raining on me at least and it wouldn't be long until I was out of here. If his brother ever came back then _he_ could deal with it.

"Let's go meet Yuzu and Karin," he suggested calmly, "Yuzu's has tons of your favourite foods prepared for when you woke up and Karin misses you too. Careful though; Dad's probably gonna ambush us."

"Not surprising," I smirked. He looked at me surprised and I noticed that the redness in his eyes was already fading.

"You remembered something?"

I shook my head. "Some things never change. I've never actually…met them myself though. And before you say anything it was _not_ a dream." His mouth slammed shut but quickly opened again.

"How could you have not met them before?" He asked, Confusion scrunching his features.

"They're your family, not mine." I said simply, shrugging away from Ichigo. Ichigo started to lead towards the door and I followed after him shoving my hands firmly into my pockets.

"Well just so you know, they're your family now," he stated, sounding more like a cheesy old movie than anything. I rolled my eyes from behind the sunglasses but felt the slight stumble of my heartbeat. I must've been nervous…yeah, definitely nervous. It was a useless emotion, just another form of fear, the thing that had caused Ichigo to become a hollow and me to come into existence in the first place. Yet, it was unshakable.

I didn't know how to act around them. I'd already decided that killing anyone would be a bad idea until I least figured out how I got here. I could look off Ichigo's memories but they weren't my own or '_Shiro's_'. Maybe the piece was small but there had always remained a part of me that was still 'Ichigo'that hadn't gone away even after my 'birth'and that part of me demanded for me to keep his sisters happyand to always protect his family-but like I said, it was a small part and usually buried under the layers upon layers of raging bloodlust and predatorial instinct. Only as Ichigo had I ever been around his family. He loved them more than anything. That part of me was dying to see them again, to meet them as _me_ but I had nothing I could say. Not even with Zangetsu had I ever been needed to act according to any social bounds and don't even bother asking me about Ichigo (he just stood there staring at me without his sword! He deserved to be face-grabbed into that building). I didn't want to just copy Ichigo either. I was at a loss.

We slipped out into the hall in silence, Ichigo frowning typically and me wearing my usual grin. I could almost see Ichigo's brain ticking, thinking deeply to himself even if he wasn't entirely aware of it. His senses were on alert for any sign of his crazy father. It would've been nice to know what he was thinking, to interrupt his thoughts and see just how high he'd jump. I licked my lips in amusement.

Those were the days when it rained the most, when I let my presence be known to Ichigo-reminded him I was still there. I'd be angry for the most part that he was wasting his life so miserably and dumping it all on me (Zangetsu had become a part of me at this point and rarely wanted out when it meant he'd get rained on). The cold rain soaked deep into my skin and pierced right into my core, curling around my bones like that of a snake, slowly crushing me. It left me with a feeling of loneliness and immense frustration. Sometimes I laughed at its arrival, grinning and cheering hysterically, feeling it beat down against my back and wondering if it might make me bleed. I wanted to drink it in and lie in its embrace. I wanted it to end and leave me be. I loved it and I hated it. It was a part of my existence. Where was that existence now? Ichigo's shout of "duck" interrupted my thinking.

I ignored the king's command and connected my foot to his father's face. He paused in the air for a moment before I stomped him down onto the floor. His head smacked against the polished hardwood and I grinned instantaneously.

"Still as crazy as ever, huh, old man? You really need ta' stop underestimatin' me and Ichigo If you wanna stop getting your ass kicked," I sneered. I heard a strangled grunt sound from goat chin from underneath my bare foot. I frowned and tilted my foot to the side a bit. My toenails were black too; did Shiro really like the colour black or something? Or was this just another example of how much of an anomaly of a human Ichigo's brother had been? Oh well, I didn't care.

"So Ichigo, how was that?" I inquired over my shoulder to him, feeling rather satisfied. He raised his eyebrows with a smile.

"I have to admit that was pretty impressive for a coma-kid," He said as he stepped over his father.

I gave him a narrowed eyed grin and followed after him leaving his father forgotten on the ground. "You ain't seen nothin' yet, King."

"_King?_ What-"

"Shiro-nii-chan!!!" The moment I walked into the room I was collided into by a small blonde girl with bright red strawberry barrettes. She wailed into my chest, her arms wrapped tightly around my legs restricting any movement. I looked down at her in alarm then looked over to Ichigo for help only to see him cross his arms and shake his head at me as a small triumphant smile played across his features. I looked back down at her to see the giant globs of tears stream down her cheeks and her lips quiver into a massive pout.

"Shiro-nii-chan…we- we m-missed…you…" Yuzu sniffed pathetically, and then to my horror she broke into tears again and buried her face back into my shirt.

"You know if you keep crying he'll have to go change again," a monotone voice stated pointedly. In her usual place by the table Karin sat there staring at me boredly as I struggled to think of a way to escape from her sister's bawling. Why was it that she reminded me of Zangetsu so much?

Yuzu dropped her arms away and then smiled up at me with the tears still in her eyes, taking my alabaster hand in hers. "Come on Shiro-nii-chan, I made _all_ your favourites!" Ah, so Ichigo wasn't kidding then.

I let the girl drag me along and I obediently sat down on the chair she pulled out for me. She flew around the kitchen and grabbed a ton of steaming plates off the kitchen counter-me only noticing the smell now- and placed them one by one onto the table before me. In the same lightening movement she grabbed a set of chopsticks placed them onto one of the plates and sat down into a chair herself. Closing his eyes with a sigh Ichigo pulled up a chair in between Karin and me rather than his usual spot at the head of the table. At the same time goat chin had finally managed to drag himself up into the room. Seeing us he zoomed over to the empty seat beside Yuzu leaving me to be the center of attention at the tables end. They stared at me expectantly as I blinked at them from behind my Sunglasses.

"Uh…Am I…supposed to eat all this?" I gestured unsurely toward the mountain of food on the table. I was met with an enthusiastic nod from the youngest Kurosaki.

"And I…use this right?" I lifted the chopsticks up. I was met with a slower less enthusiastic nod form Yuzu and a raised eyebrow from Karin. Goat chin was looking like he just wanted to get on with it and Ichigo didn't look like he was gonna help me out of this at all. Shit…this was no good. I…didn't know how to eat. I'd…completely forgotten…was it my fault I didn't eat?

"Heh…easy enough…just…move them like this…and…" I reached for the closet possible thing not really paying attention. It was some sort of…noodle-y…thing…dammit, Of all the memories I'd gone over before from before I was 'born', the one I'd avoided and forgotten about was the one I actually needed most.

I fidgeted with the chopsticks in my hand becoming more and more flustered by the second. I could see Yuzu's fading smile from out of the corner of my eye. Shit. I had to get this.

"Heh…just a little…c'mon…get it…get it, dammit…and…Hah! NO! Shit! Stupid noodles…" _Brilliant. Just…brilliant._

"Um, Shiro-nii-chan…if you want you can use a fork instead, Karin-chan says it's easier…" I looked up to see her pass me this strange, small, pronged weapon, worry and hesitance shining clear in her eyes. Ichigo and Karin were starting to look the same too. Even-oh god no- goat chin was looking a little apprehensive. I swallowed, determined, and stabbed the fork into the bowl. The noodles slid off the forks prongs teasingly as I lifted the thing back up out of the bowl. I looked at the tangled slimy mess and growled stabbing the fork into it a second time. A second failure. And a third. And a fourth. Fifth.

"Oh for the love of-" I stopped mid-sentence and took a long slow breath trying to refocus. "No. Ha…I can do this…It just takes…Instinct. Yeah…If Ichigo can do it I should be able to as well…" The said Ichigo then placed a hand on my shoulder and tried to get me to look up into his face.

"Shiro, you okay?"

I gritted my teeth. "Yes _Ichigo_. I'm _fine_."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes. I'm feeling splendid._" I stabbed the fork into the bowl again to prove my point. There was a silence. I glanced up from my noodle bowl to look around the table at everyone's expressions. I looked back down at the noodles from hell.

"Just- Just one more try, okay? I'll get this. I'll-" I was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door and I let out a held breath as Goat chin, Yuzu, _and_ Karin all got up to get it. I pushed the bowl quickly aside and let my head fall defeated into my arms. I felt Ichigo prod my head gently and I lifted it up enough to see his look of concern.

"Seriously, are you alright?" He whispered anxiously, his bronze eyes boring into mine through the barrier of my lenses.

I sighed, "I can't eat."

He frowned. "Are you…not hungry? Is that why?"

I shook my head. "No Ichigo, I mean I _can't_ eat. I don't know how."

He straightened up at the sound of the door opening and I followed suit, feeling the humiliation burn inside of me. This was going horribly.

"Ah! Tensa-san! Long time no see!" I looked over to the door where Goat chin was greeting someone. I squinted trying to see who it was but Goat chin kept getting in the way. Ichigo noticed too and turned to the same direction. I slid out of the chair and craned my neck in attempt to see the man.

"Did you decide to wear a suit for the occasion?"

"I always wear suits."

"I see…It looks brand new!"

"…"

"Well, I'm sure you remember my lovely daughters?"

"…Yuzu, Karin."

"And of course you remember Ichigo!" Finally Ichigo's father turned out of the way and I could see who was in the doorway. My eyes widened beyond their limits and my mouth fell open.

"Hello Zangetsu-ossan, it's nice to see you again."

"As it is for me Ichigo."

"I think Shiro's missed you he-" _Thunk._

"Ah! Shiro-nii-chan! Shiro-nii-chan fainted!"

"Sh-Shiro?"

_No, I don't "think"; I _definitely_ hate this place._

* * *

**Yay! Chapter two! And it's longer this time *is pleased*. I hope it flowed okay.**

**Explanation for the honorifics: Normally Yuzu calls Ichigo Onii-chan and Karin calls him Ichi-nii but for the sake of this fic since there are now two Onii-chans Yuzu will address Shiro by Shiro-nii-chan and Ichigo reversibly as either Ichi-nii-chan or her traditional Onii-chan. Karin will address them by Shiro-nii and Ichi-nii as per normal. About the "Zangetsu-ossan" at the beginning and throughout the series Ichigo has often referred to Zangetsu as "Old man Zangetsu" hence the "Zangetsu-**_**ossan**_**". **

**A little tidbit of info; Shiro also refers to Zangetsu as "Zangetsu-san", but only when he is talking directly to him. If he is talking about him or is referring to the blade, he uses regular old "Zangetsu". Either way, even if you aren't a fan of Shiro being capable of anything other than evilness, Shiro actually does hold a respect for Zangetsu which he does for no one else as not only is he the only one Shiro has ever conversed with and used an honorific for but he also didn't mind borrowing Zangetsu's name which he refuses to do for Ichigo because of their level of trust. Shiro trusts Zangetsu because he understands Zangetsu quote from the first chapter; **"_When two who do not trust each other fight together, the strength in each is diminished; they only damage each other's strength." _**In the situation of Ichigo and Shiro however Ichigo does not trust Shiro to help him/have control of his body and Shiro subsequently does not trust Ichigo to survive, both having perfectly valid reasons for such. Unfortunately this weakens their power, and perhaps was the downfall of our beloved Shiro. The funny thing is; their trust issue is entirely canonical and not in the least bit a fan raving ['kay maybe it is a little]. Who knows? Maybe Ichigo and Shiro working together [like a Shiro/Ichi fusion a.k.a Bull!Ichigo] does have some grounds for the future. **

******EDITED AGAIN: I have decided (as of chapter six being written). This fic will have no pairings in it, none whatsoever. However there will be a lot of brotherliness on Ichigo's and Shiro's part. If you are okay with that, great, if not, well...I geuss you'll just have to find something else to read. Anyway, to those who aren't concerned with seeing a pairing in this and want to read on, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. (Yes I did copy and paste this note from first chapter and will likely be putting in chapter seven as well. You can never be too careful right?) ^^**

**Hope you liked! Review please! That's what keeps me writing!**


	3. Deal

"Is the ice working, Shiro?" Ichigo queried gently. I growled and muttered something unintelligible under my breath. You know that feeling when you're a kid and you feel like you need to be looked after for every single little thing? Like you're completely, pathetically, helpless? _Yeah_…I hate it. I didn't need the ice; I was only using it so that maybe I'd freeze enough brain cells to go into another coma and wake back up where I belonged; in the soggy, never changing, inner world of Ichigo's soul. Not to mention it was the only thing that would make Yuzu stop crying.

I stared bitterly at my eyelids, not being allowed to open them because the sunglasses had broken. I personally was getting tired of seeing nothing but black.

"Okay girls, you have to understand that you're brother was in an accident. The doctor told us, remember? That Shiro _might _or _might not_ have a little brain damage." Die goat chin.

"From what Ichigo says," there was a pause, probably a nod of confirmation, "Your Shiro-nii," he paused again to make a dramatic sniffle, "Doesn't remember anything!" And with that he was off, probably whining to that Masaki Forever poster. Ichigo filled in for him and I listened as his voice flooded my ears. At least his voice never changed; he still had that hard determined edge to it that I'd grown so used to. Now that I thought about it, my own voice didn't have that watery echo anymore though it was still a lot higher than Ichigo's though.

"So that's really it; Shiro doesn't remember anything from before the accident. He's still pretty weak too so we have to take it easy or else he'll end up back in the hospital and none of us wants that," Ichigo explained. I snorted at how ridiculous it sounded coming out of his mouth.

"Also," Ichigo continued, "He had a _very_ vivid dream, I think, and was under the impression it was real-"

"Great Ichigo, make me sound like I'm a lunatic," I snickered.

"-So if we flood him with everything all at once it'll just overwhelm him." I imagine Ichigo was making a gesture toward the ice on my head at this point. I dropped the bag of ice onto the floor and stood up not caring to hang around anymore. I used my hands to feel my way around, only faintly being able to discern the shadows through my eyelids. I felt a faint touch on my hand and I snapped it away.

"It's just me Shiro." _Ichigo…_

"I don't need help. I can find my way," I said grinning madly, but still not relaxing.

"C'mon, let he me help," Ichigo insisted. I felt his hand slip into mine and I grimaced distastefully as he pulled me forward.

"Is Shiro-nii-chan leaving already?" I heard Yuzu snivel. Karin quickly quieted her by reminding her they had to listen to Ichi-nii and give me some space for a while. Goat chin had moved on from the poster to trying to make Yuzu laugh only for Karin to disprove his act with some method of violence signalled by Goat chin's sequenced yelp of pain. And though he'd been silent I could feel Zangetsu's gaze following me the entire time I was there and straight out of the room. I was glad to be out of there.

Who knew that Zangetsu would be here as well? And in a suit of all things…funny he still had his same yellow sunglasses.

But it was kind of unnerving to see Zangetsu here. Ironic in its symbolism. Zangetsu was the first person I saw after becoming me and I owed him a bit for being there, even if it was just to listen to me rant over the King's lack of skill and how he continuously refused my help. He'd been there when it rained, when I'd nearly danced in excitement over my being able to use Bankai despite being a hollow. He was there to see me crash and burn when Ichigo rejected my help in battle and pushed me back down into the inner world's depths. He didn't argue with me when I decided I would fight for myself. He helped me keep my sanity, trapped in that place. We weren't really close or anything but in a way, because Ichigo was never there, Zangetsu was the only family I had ever had.

And now he was literally uncle Zangetsu. The universe has funny ways of trying to screw with you.

"Here we are Shiro, you can open your eyes now," Ichigo's voice broke into my reverie and I blinked my eyes open. My face split into a toothy grin.

"Ha! It's your room! It's not different at all!" I gasped ecstatically. 'Kay I will have everyone know now that I hit my head really hard, my rationale wasn't working yet, I…okay I admit it, I was excited. I pulled from Ichigo's grasp and did a little spin in the middle of the floor before falling happily onto Ichigo's bed with its blue and white sheets. Ichigo stared at me the whole time as I shot back up again and ran over to his desk to see if it really was exactly the same as I remembered it to be. It was! I smiled to myself and then turned to look back over at Ichigo.

"This is the happiest I've seen you since you woke up," Ichigo noted as he moved away from the door, clicking it shut. "What's so exciting about my room? Another dream-memory?"

I leapt up onto the desk and kicked my feet, staring around at the perfect white-washed walls. It really was identical. Ichigo moved to sit on the bed as he waited for my answer.

"Nothin', it's jus' nostalgia," I sang. He raised one of his always furrowed eyebrows.

"Fainting after seeing Zangetsu-ossan wasn't nostalgia, and asking why I didn't kill you wasn't nostalgia either. Why is my room so special?"

I laughed, "Honestly Ichigo, ya' don't really wanna know."

He lent forward, intrigued. "Sure I do. Tell me. Even if it's just from your dream."

I rolled my eyes. "Dream my _ass_. It's too long. I'd have ta' start from the very beginning."

I leapt down from the desk and straddled the chair, turning it to face him. "Besides, ya' haven't answered any of _my_ questions. Ya' can't just expect me ta' give ya' anythin' if ya don't return the favour."

Ichigo frowned and bit his lip, his bronze eyes clouding slightly. He was different than the King. He wasn't the same. To some extreme he was the opposite of him. There was a warmth Ichigo had always had ever since he was a child; he had an effect on people that made them feel better, it made people want to trust him. It was different with me. I could never get him to trust me and when people saw or touched my mask they became wary. Ichigo hated me with a passion. If there was one person he wished he could kill, it was me. The only thing I felt near him was the cold breeze of his inner world.

But not this Ichigo. For the first time the warmth actually spread to me. I could feel it in the tips of my fingers-like the warmth of a heartbeat. I watched him think to himself, actually pondering over what I had just said rather than just ignoring it or telling me to shut up and disappear. It was surprisingly comfortable to be around him, when we weren't fighting anyway. I cracked my hands lightly to get his attention.

"Here, I'll make ya' a deal;" I offered with a wave of my hand, "I ask ya' a question-any question, and you have ta' answer Okay? Then you get to ask me one and I'll try an answer ya'! That way all's fair. Sound good?"

Ichigo eyes lightened and he began to open his mouth to speak but stopped himself. He turned his gaze back to the floor.

I frowned. "What's wrong? Are ya' scared I'll ask ya' the wrong question?"

Ichigo remained silent. I noticed a small dog-tag necklace on the edge of the table and picked it up. My grin widened and I began to spin the chain in circles in the air. It caught the attention of Ichigo and so I continued on.

"Say Ichigo, what happens if ya' build a dam in the middle of a river?"

"………_What!?_" Ichigo stared at me both stunned and confused at the change our conversation had taken. I ignored him and spun the chain a little faster.

"It builds up, Ichigo, all the water builds up. On the one side the water begins to flood whereas on the other it starts to dry. If the dam is strong enough then the one side may dry up completely but most of the time it only takes the slightest nudge before the entire thing breaks."

"Even if you don't do anything eventually the dam _will _flood, it's only a matter of time before the river forces through it. And it _always _does." I stood up to pace across the room, still spinning the chain through the air. I could feel Ichigo's eyes follow me.

"When that happens all your efforts will have been useless and not only will the river flow once again but it will cause destruction when it does so. All that you were trying to protect will be destroyed," I summed dropping the magic "p" word that I knew would make him connect. I turned around and started towards him with a tight smile.

"Do you understand what I'm saying? No matter what we're gonna find out things we would've rathered stayed secret. We'll either have it given to us slowly or we'll be washed away when the dam finally breaks, it's your choice…" I stopped in front of him and threw the chain up into the air. I lowered myself down to his level as the chain came down in front of his face. I caught it just inches away from his nose. "…_King._"

My eyes narrowed smugly and I sat back down onto the chair. Ichigo gaped at me and shook his head.

"Did you just think of that off the top of your head?" He asked in disbelief. I almost laughed.

"Yup, liked my last one better though; it was way more fun. Though you're reaction wasn't half bad I gotta admit."

He shook his head again. "This is so weird."

"Isn't it?" I snickered. _This is first time I haven't tried to kill you after my metaphors. _"But we have a deal then?"

His eye brows furrowed and he made a determined frown, one I recognized from one he _really_ made his mind up. He nodded, "_Deal._"

"YES!" I punched upward into the air, "Now that's my King!"

"You're whacked."

"You have no idea."

"Okay then; tell me."

"Whadya want ta' know?" I shifted over in my seat and kicked my feet up onto his desk, resting my hands behind my head. I sighed happily, letting the feeling of relaxation wash over.

"I want you to tell me what your dream was about."

"That's a tall order, King. We wanna start small," I suggested, "You might have to space that out into smaller questions." He nodded and put a finger to his mouth. I scanned him over as he thought.

Ichigo to _Ichigo, _there wasn't a single physical difference. His tangerine hair way tweaked out in the exact same way and the soft tan he had earned after his long trip to the soul society was still there, though it would likely be for a different reason-Summer job maybe? It would've interesting to see if the scars were still the same but I was pretty sure he didn't have any anymore after all those times those weird pixie things that the Inoue-girl used had healed him. Disappointing.

"Can you tell me why…" his face suddenly grew serious, "Can you tell me why you wanted me to kill you?" Oh, so he was under the impression I was suicidal? Quite the contrary; I enjoy life and find it very irritating when the King goes and tries to waste it. Most of the time I had was spent trying to save our asses in some way or form. Definitely not suicidal…well, unless you counted Ichigo trying to kill me and semi-succeeding……Wait, didn't that mean the King was suicidal?

"I never said I _wanted_ you to kill me, I asked why you _didn't_," I corrected him with a smirk. "And I asked because that's the last thing I remember; we were fighting and you stabbed me."

Ichigo gasped, "I stabbed you!?! What? Why?"

I snorted. "Because I was stupid and gave you some advice that you-for once- actually listened to."

Ichigo grimaced. "That's too vague. It's hardly an answer at all."

"Good, 'cause you're only supposed to ask one question at a time!" I exclaimed. "It's my turn."

Ichigo watched me both impatient and unsure, his brown eyes searching. I cleared my throat, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay _so_…WHAT THE HELL WAS ZANGETSU DOING HERE?!!?!?" I cried, or more screamed, into Ichigo's face. He looked like, if it were possible-in this form anyway-, he would've been blown back a ways. I lent over the edge of the chair wide-eyed. My heart seemed to be surprised by sudden action as well. Well, like I said; the dam was gonna break.

He smoothed his hair over with his hand and scratched the back of his head. "Please…don't scream like that, you…"

"Scared the shit outa ya'? Good. Remember, the number one technique is intimidation. The guy can't fight ya' if he's too busy havin' a heart attack," I stated pointedly. Ichigo gave me a look that said something along the lines of _that's twisted. _But hey, it was true was it not? I was still havin a laugh over what happened to that stupid vizard, Hiyori-what's-her-face.

"You're more spastic than you used to be," Ichigo noted warily, I grinned in response. He reached over to grab the dog chain I'd placed back on the desk and began to gently pass it between his hands.

"Zangetsu-ossan is your uncle. Well, actually, he _was_ your foster parent. He comes to visit every now and then."

"Wait, hold up," I said, waving my hands in front if my face, "I thought ya' were suppose' ta be my twin or somethin', and those guys down there were all suppose' ta' be my family and now you're sayin' they aren't?"

"No, no, we are. It's…complicated," He sighed. "You recognized Zangetsu-ossan though…you even mentioned him before, I think…"

"Zangetsu is our sword," I filled for him. "Well, he's the spirit of it anyway…and so am I…and I said I was Zangetsu once, so-"

"That's enough. You're gonna give me a headache."

I smirked devilishly down at my hands. "Of course; that's my job, King."

"What's the King thing about?"

I looked at him blankly. "Oh? Dammit, I keep saying that don't I…" He waited for me to answer, still tossing the chain back and forth.

"It's what we were fightin' about;" I laughed, unable to hide the undertone of resentment in my voice. "Control; see who gets to be King and who has to be the bitch-ass horse. As you've probably figured out, I lost." I threw my hands up in the air brought them back down on my knees to do a drum solo. I slowed down by the end and my expression fell away into a deadpan.

"That'll change though." There was a silence that resembled the ones from the inner world; cold, sharp, and taunting. It was easy to feel comfortable around this Ichigo but not easy to forget. Which was a good thing; I wasn't staying here. I had to get back to my hell hole, it was calling to me. Ichigo broke the silence first.

"Do you hate me?"

The question rocked me, made my head turn. "_Hate_ you?" I sputtered. "Are you _honestly_ asking me if I-?" _Yes, I hate you. I hate everything about you. I despise you, I detest you, I loathe you; none of those words are enough. You make me sick. I want to destroy you. I want to hear the crushed remains of your skull crunch underneath my feet. Do you understand me? I want to take the sky-your heart in my hands and I want to see it shatter and have the shards leave cuts in my palms. I want to dye the world of your mind in sickening shades of red and I want the colour to blind you so you'll see nothing else. I want you to burn with me. Get it yet? I-_

"Don't hate ya'…"I whispered. "I don't hate _you_, anyway."

I shook my head and smirked. "Yer, not the same as him; The King and you are different people…"

He looked at me as if he didn't quite believe me and I sighed. "Think of it as a fresh start, okay? We're both gonna start over completely, ya' got that? I'll even introduce myself; Yo, I'm no-name, nice ta' meetchya'. "

"No-name?"

"No-name. Ya' have ta' give me one."

He stuck his hand out towards me and pulled up his bottom lip into a frown. "The name's Kurosaki Ichigo, nice to meet you, _Shiro_."

I struck my hand out towards him and shook it, grinning wildly and noting the distinct differences in our colours; Tan against white. I pulled away and lent back into his desk. _Well, well, __**partner**_.

"Just curious though," Ichigo spoke suddenly, a peculiar expression on his face, "How am I different exactly?"

I leapt up enthusiastically and began to count on my fingers. "Well, for one, ya' had the curiosity of a rock. Two; ya' weren't nearly this emotional externally-"

"Hey, Shut-up! My _brother_ just woke up from a coma! I'm _supposed_ to be concerned!" He yelled.

I flicked his forehead with a smile.

"Hey!! What was that for?!" His expression contorted in aggravation.

"_There_, that's what _Ichigo_ looks like," I stated. He looked ready to throw a punch and was clearly failing at keeping his eye and upper lip from twitching. He took a slow shaky breath and opted to change the subject on me.

"What do you know or remember about school?" He spat out harshly, making it sound more like an insult than a question.

I shrugged. "Don't know, never been to it. I know everything that Ichigo did though, so as long as he paid attention in class I should have it down pat. Why?"

"You're gonna have to go to it tomorrow."

I groaned and tried to shove the thought of the noodle disaster out of my mind. "You're not kidding this time either are you?"

He shook his head. "Do you think you can handle it?"

"I _think_ so…damn, that's gonna be boring. Ah well, more exciting than your head I guess…" I trailed off. Ichigo cocked an eyebrow at me but shrugged quickly, deciding it better not to ask.

"Hey, now that I think about it," I mused aloud, "if I apparently live here where do I stay? And don't you dare say your closet."

"Huh? Why the hell would you be sleeping in my closet?" Ichigo queried.

I ran a pale hand through my hair and laughed awkwardly. "Don't ask. It's weird."

"Here, I'll show you where your room is." He got up of the bed and I followed behind him. I asked him whether I had to close my eyes or not but he said that as long as no one noticed us I should be fine. I wondered why it was such a big deal to keep my eyes covered up but I didn't ask. To be honest I was more focused on how surreal it was that I had my own room.

"You're room is just in there," He explained as we walked towards a door that I knew hadn't been in the King's house before. He twisted the door knob and pushed it open. I stepped into the room and gaped.

"Ho-ly _shit_. Is this…for real?" My eyes travelled over the entire thing. I had never seen so much shit in one room in my life. And my previous suspicions about Shiro loving black were confirmed by the wall's paint colours; half-black, half-chequered. I looked around in disbelief at all the junk. Shelves upon shelves full of books, manga, and videogames. Mostly videogames. There was a couple small gaming systems hooked up to a TV, controllers all lying on the ground in a mess of cords and wires. Over in one corner sat a computer desk with a laptop and a weird long tank-thing beside it. Next to it, almost in the same arrangement as Ichigo's room was a bed except rather than blue and white sheets it was covered in a simple grey blanket. I walked over to it slowly and plopped down on it. I continued to gaze around the room.

Ichigo's eyes trailed me over, analyzing. "You don't seem as excited. Something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Never had my own room before," I breathed. _Never had my own anything._

"Well, it's yours," He assured me. I felt like arguing but kept my mouth shut. Or more, _open_ because I couldn't seem to do anything else. He moved around the room and showed me where everything was occasionally asking if I was sure I didn't remember anything only to have me insist that I didn't. He showed me the closet, the dresser, the desk, the inside of all the drawers, and even how to turn on the game system which looked beyond weird. I asked him what the tank thing on the desk was about and he told me that I'd once had a pet lizard. I nearly killed myself with laughter. Ichigo nearly went to call Goat chin for help.

"So yeah, that's all there is," He finished. "I'll just leave you to get some rest, okay?"

He turned to leave. "Wait! Already? Didn't I just get up?" I protested.

"It was already late afternoon when you got up," He countered. "You're still not back to your normal strength yet, I can tell; you have no energy. If you don't get more rest you'll never make it to school tomorrow." I frowned. He _was_ right and all but hadn't I been unconscious enough already? I said nothing and watch the back of his bright tangerine haired head as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. I stared at the door for a moment and then turned down to stare my feet.

I was alone. Completely, absolutely, alone.

"…"

"……"

"………"

Oh yeah…thrilling, isn't it? But seriously, what was I supposed to do? At least before there was Zangetsu.

'_So what do we do today Hollow?' 'Why, the same thing we do everyday, Zangetsu-san; sit here and do nothing as I pretend to try to take over this world!'_

sooooooo boooooorrrreeed_._ Oh well…at least I was good at it. Doing nothing, I mean. No clouds in here though. Not even the slightest bit of visual stimuli. Was there a clock? No. How the heck was I supposed to get up in the mor- oh wait, I forgot, Goat chin was in charge or that.

"………"

Well. If I hadn't known I'd had a miserably boring life before, I did now. All this…junk-stuff and all I could do was stare at the ground. Yes, you know you have a life _when…_

"……"

"……"

"……"

"This…really sucks. What time is it?" I leapt up off the bed and crept out of the room and into the hall. It was actually much darker than before. Had I wasted that much time already?

I moved silently down the hallway until I reached the main room of the house, where the kitchen, dining, and living room were all in one. Right where I hoped it would be was a clock with roman numerals and three sets of tiny ticking hands. I let out a soft sigh upon seeing that, yeah, I _had_ wasted that much time already. It was well into the night at that point and even Goat chin would likely be asleep. I ran a hand through my own tousled silvery hair and started to leave when a strange growling sounded.

I groaned. "Ya' gotta be kidding me…"

I was hungry. And my stomach was being adamant about getting something to eat. I grimaced and looked around the room as if to make sure no one would be watching me or was gonna make an ambush. Swearing if I found a camera anywhere I would tear it up into tiny un-repairable pieces, I opened up the fridge door and grabbed the first thing I saw-the noodles from hell, of course.

I moved over to the table, sat down, and placed the bowl in front of me. I eyed the cold, squirmy, mess in apprehension. _No chopsticks this time, no audience, no pressure…I can do this…_

I took a deep breath, picked up the bowl in both hands and threw my face in it. Shall I describe it for you? Imagine having to shove your face in a cold carcass. Now, imagine yourself eating that same carcass. Raw. No hands. Good luck!

Except, it actually didn't taste half bad. It tasted pretty good, to tell the truth-and no, I am not still talking about the carcass. I finished it quickly and scrounged the fridge for the rest of the leftovers. I'll let you fill in the blanks at what happened there. I was surprised to find that all while I ate no one heard me. Even more so when I was able to clean the dishes without an attack of some sort from you-know-who.

I grinned, victorious. _Now that's something you can't beat, King._

Back down the hall in the dark I snuck, making sure my feet didn't make a sound against the hardwood floor. I went into my room and began to change, ditching the spiked collar on the floor. I didn't stay there though. Instead, I went straight up the stairs for Ichigo's room. I made it there without so much as a creak and turned the door handle slowly. Thankfully it was on my side today and it opened silently. I shut it behind me and made my way towards his desk at his bedside.

"Shiro…?" I froze mid-step. Ichigo sat up and I saw him rub his eyes in confusion. He squinted at me sleepily.

"What're you doing here?" He slurred. I hopped up onto his desk and shrugged.

"I'm not tired. I thought I'd come up here."

"Shiro, it's late. _I'm_ tired…"he huffed falling back onto his pillow with a frown. I laughed quietly.

"I can see that."

"Well, then…" he shut his eyes and for a moment I thought he'd fallen asleep on me except that his voice continued, "…you don't have to leave…just be quiet okay…?"

I gave him a quick nod and a salute. "Aye, aye, sir!"

It went quiet and I could here nothing but for the sound of his shallow breathing. The moon's light poured through the window even with the heavy curtains trying to cover it up. It didn't illuminate the entire room but I could still see enough of its details; perhaps my eyes gave me better night vision? I'd think so since I had to be able to see through the darkness of a mask. I looked over at Ichigo. His features, all but for his eyebrows, were relaxed. He slept flat on his back so I could see his chest rise and fall. I felt strangely calmed.

Suddenly, something occurred to me. "Hey Ichigo…?"

I waited until I heard a soft grunt followed by a groggy "yeah?" before continuing.

"Ya' don't have to tell me what happened but can I ask again…how long was I in that coma?"

He was silent for a long moment. "…Oh…Um…well…to be honest…it was only a month…but it wasn't how long you were out that worried me…it was how you were, okay…I'm not…emotional…"

"…A month…?"

"Yeah, that's all…" He yawned.

"A month is still a while, Ichigo…" I assured him. He didn't respond and I suspected he had fallen asleep on me.

"…A month…" exactly the same amount of time…I'd been in existence…

**

* * *

**

**I didn't really get into this chapter until the end. I hope it wasn't too slow (or too fast) for you guys! . **

**Please Review! Reviews motivate me to write more! **

**FUN FACT: By manga canon Shiro actually** _**is**_**, from the point of Ichigo's hollowfication to Shiro's defeat, only a month old. I will let everyone know now that I operate highly on manga canon and only deviate from it for two things; 1) Shiro's iris colour; it's so much more fun to describe golden-yellow irises than it is plain white ones and 2) the colour of the lizard markings and hollow mask stripes; I like them red, simple as that- BullIchigo can**_** have **_**his black markings. So that means no stupid Bounts, annoying plushies (except Kon! :D I love Kon!), wierd bodygaurds for princesses, Identical looking Hollows, or any other filler/anime related grievances (which means no Urahara/Hiyori *cries*)  
**


	4. Promise

Stroking the soft white hair on his sleeping brother's head, Ichigo sat on the side of his bed wondering when his twin might awaken. He knew Shiro tended to sleep in a little bit more than the average person, but then, Shiro wasn't exactly average nor was he acting like himself lately. Honestly, Ichigo didn't know what to think. He recalled his argument with the doctor when he had suggested that Shiro might not wake up again, that keeping him alive might just be useless.

That didn't even make sense. Even the doctors had had no idea what was wrong with Shiro. They'd all been making assumptions on what they didn't know. To say _that_…it made him feel sick. They threw around a lot of words. They could label it as a coma or whatever but they didn't _know_. It was thanks to their father that they'd been able to get away with what they had. They were lucky.

It wasn't like comas were a rare case, the news didn't cover every single one of them on TV or anything, but _Shiro_ was unusual. A twin born as an albino, with sclera as black as coal, garish yellow irises in their centers-not even to mention his past- slips into a coma. People were already after him for studying with his impossible eye colour, hell knew what would happen if the people from school found out. He didn't need that; he was discriminated enough because of his albinism.

The first two days were horrible. He was put on a shabby little life support system-which would forever haunt Ichigo's nightmares- and he was put in a private part of the hospital, an area he was sure shouldn't even have existed. It was like being in a horror movie. Everyone was so secretive and tense. The doctors and nurses walking in and out would eye him over, comparing him, glaring at him, looking like they were sorry and occasionally demanding that he leave. He made enemies fast and it wasn't long before their gazes passed over him entirely, like he was nothing more than a part of the wall. _Just the kid's twin brother, ignore him._

Ichigo had refused to leave Shiro's side for those first days. It wasn't until Isshin had gone down and forced him to go home, telling him that his sisters needed at least one of their brothers and promising he'd take his place until morning, that Ichigo had finally left. He had felt guilty, seeing his father with the ever growing circles under his eyes but Isshin insisted he was fine and that Ichigo was looking far worse than himself.

They had told Isshin, at least, Shiro's rating on the Glasgow Scale but they would not tell Ichigo. Isshin merely hinted that it wasn't great, which only caused him to become more anxious than before. It felt as if he were holding his breath, like all the oxygen in the air had suddenly gone. He sat at Shiro's bedside, he called his name, he threatened him that if he didn't wake up he'd kick his ass- then let out a dispirited laugh, moving on to tell him a falsely animated recollection of his day, how the family was doing and how he finally agreed with Shiro about how much he thought the hospital sucked; there was no response, nothing. He shook his head and sighed, squeezing his brother's pale limp hand in his own.

Days later Shiro's eyes opened. Ichigo shot up from his chair and practically dove for his brother's hand. He shook it enthusiastically trying to get his eyes to move away from the ceiling and in his direction. Shiro didn't so much as twitch and it only took Ichigo a moment more to notice the glazed, empty look in his eyes. Vegetative state, one doctor said. Shiro was taken off the life support.

He didn't close his eyes, and it unnerved some people at how little he blinked, Especially with the way they already had thought he'd had 'demon eyes'. Ichigo overheard one nurse talking about it with another woman he didn't know. He glared at her furiously whenever he saw her from then on.

Ichigo hadn't known how to react when Shiro started moving one day. It wasn't uncommon for a person in his state to twitch their limbs and such but Shiro had actually managed to lift himself up in the bed and started trying to remove his feeder. Without a second thought Ichigo called for a nurse to come in but found himself regretting it, if only a little bit. Shiro didn't struggle, oh no, once touched by the nurse he fell limp almost instantly, but it was the greatest sign of wakefulness he'd seen from his brother in the longest time. The small incident caused Shiro's eyes to change direction but once; they then faced Ichigo's seat straight on and Ichigo discovered one more thing that would haunt him forever; his brother's staring, blank eyes. As if he were dead.

Another day later, Shiro was sitting up again, this time rather than trying to remove his feeder he tried to climb out of bed. No one knew what to say to this anomaly. Shiro was moved to another section and one of the nicer male nurses helped arrange a plan to allow some of Shiro's mobility. Ichigo was grateful.

Shiro responded to nothing but the tug of Ichigo's hand in which case he was led blindly in every which direction. They didn't think they could consider Shiro as in a Vegetative state anymore but other than his walks he didn't move. He was a zombie in many ways, still Ichigo had never imagined…

"_You must really hate this, huh?" he mused mostly to himself as he knew Shiro wouldn't answer. "Stuck in a hospital; I kinda hate it too."_

_He pulled his lifeless brother along, going in a circle around the room. "I know it's hard but all it takes is for you to say something, just prove that you're really awake, and we can leave."_

_Ichigo stopped moving and stared down at the floor and felt his brother stop too. He looked up at Shiro and was met with a reflection of himself within the flat gold of his irises. He stared deep into his brother's eyes but couldn't see anything past. It was like Shiro was looking through him, like he wasn't really there. Ichigo felt a shiver move down his spine._

"_Geez, it's cold in this room. You know, you'd think they'd have better air conditioning, huh? C'mon, let's go over where there's sunlight."_

_He pulled Shiro over toward the large cream framed window-the only one in the room. Outside the sun shone exuberantly piercing through the vast array of different coloured clouds, all painted in the orange hue of the sunset. The sky had been looking indecisive all day, torn between whether it wanted to be bright and blue or to continue on into the end of its cloudy, rainy season. Ichigo perched himself on the sill's edge looking outward with a sigh before turning back to Shiro. He wondered how much Shiro was really aware of what was going on. His eyes didn't absorb anything whatsoever, they only reflected. He wondered if he could get Shiro to sit down and reached for his hand again. It felt abnormally cool in his own. He frowned. That wasn't normal was it?_

_He shifted around, stood and put his hand to Shiro's forehead and felt his eyes widen. He coughed and lifted Shiro's hand looking for a specific point on his wrist, shaking as he did so. It couldn't be possible, could it? He fumbled the wrist and it fell limply to Shiro's side. Ichigo swallowed, hard. Hesitantly he lifted his own hand up to a point on Shiro's neck and held it there. Nothing. _

"_N-no way…no…" He grabbed Shiro's wrist again and yanked him along, calling for someone to come as fast as they could. When a few arrived Shiro was quickly forced back onto the bed and Ichigo was rushed out of the room. With a panic, he called for their father over a pay phone and he arrived at the hospital practically moments later. Ichigo couldn't comprehend what was happening from there on. He entangled his hands in his hair as he sat waiting. _

_People flew by him, back and forth, in and out of the room. Shouts, commands, curses, still no answers. He heard some muttering;_ 'impossible'.

_Ichigo ground his teeth together._ _Shiro couldn't be…he couldn't be…dead…He was alive! He'd been moving around on his own! How then…? When had it happened? A few minutes before? Even earlier? It didn't make sense. He knew it was stupid and selfish of him to think but Shiro wouldn't die on him. Not like this. Hadn't they just found each other? _

_The lights around him shone too bright. They were burning his eyes. He choked despairingly and buried his face into his hands._

_He wasn't sure how late it was when he felt Isshin place a hand on his shoulder. He looked up dully at his father. Was it normal to feel this numb? Isshin looked down at him with an expression Ichigo couldn't describe._

_He spoke softly, as if afraid speaking too loud might cause his eldest son to break. "His heart's not beating right. We don't know what's wrong with him. We don't really know what to do here. He's still alive, though…somehow." Isshin shook his head his head with a frown at the next part, "He's been hooked back up to a heart monitor and they're still trying to get some more equipment in there. They've decided to give him some things to make him sleep."_

"_What!? They can't! If he…he'll die!" Ichigo cried out. "If his heart's not beating and they make him go to sleep he'll die!" His hands curled into tight fists and the only thing stopping him from getting up was Isshin's strong hand on his shoulder. His father shook his head grimly, as if to say he agreed but there was nothing they could do about it. Ichigo felt as if he'd dropped from a thousand feet._

_Why Shiro? Why always Shiro? In his mind, all Ichigo could see was the pale inanimate face, the once flaming golden irises, dead. If it were anyone else Ichigo could've just looked to his side for help and Shiro would be there. He'd make a crude joke and tell him to relax, that it wasn't the end of the world, things would get better. Then, if he didn't listen, he'd smack him in the head and tell him he was being pathetic. Ichigo's lips twitched up for a mille-second then his face twisted in pain. His brother…_

Shiro fell back into his coma. The doctors and nurses had done what they could- so Ichigo's father had said. Ichigo had been bitter around everyone. He wanted to hate someone but he didn't know who, And if he did would it be because they hadn't recognized Shiro's problem before? Or because they'd screwed up now that they had? Did it even matter? He hated them all anyway…even himself.

He said nothing, until that one day, that one _stupid _doctor… He could feel the pure rage bubble up from his core; it tasted like acid in his mouth. He screamed at the man, argued with him that it wasn't true until he finally lost it and connected his fist with the man's jaw. _Almost;_ Isshin had caught his son's arm before it managed to inflict any damage and pinned it behind him, preventing any further attack. Ichigo growled furiously and turned his argument on his father.

"_So you're going to listen to that bastard, then!? Huh!? Shiro was getting better! You hear me, bastard?! He was getting better!! You put him back into a coma and now you're saying he's not gonna wake up!?? Fucking BASTARD!!!!"_

"_Ichigo, calm down, don't lose your head!"_

"_No! Don't you realise that Shiro might've woken up if we'd left him alone!? He could've been home by now! He has no right to be spouting shit like that! He said it was useless! Did you hear him? It's not useless! He's going to wake up again, just watch!"_

"_Ichigo, Ichigo, I understand, I heard what he said but you have to calm yourself! You're not the only one upset here; your sisters, me, even Tensa-san has been calling non-stop, rushing to get down here. I don't agree with what's been said but I don't agree with your actions either."_

"_Why-"_

"_I'll get him home, Ichigo, I promise, the moment he wakes up, regardless of what state he's in, I'll make sure he makes it back home. Will you swear to me not to let this happen again?"_

_He swallowed. "……I swear."_

Ichigo shut his eyes and let out a slow breath. He'd kept his promise and Shiro had made it home. He'd used his 'connections' was what their dad had said, to get Shiro out of that despicable place. They had the equipment if necessary and Isshin was highly qualified after all. Plus he mentioned that whether it was here or there neither person knew what to do about Shiro's randomly fading heartbeat so it really wouldn't make a difference where he was.

The ordeal was stressful, and that hadn't changed once from the beginning to the end. Shiro's unusual state of being had never calmed and levelled out after he'd gone back into his coma. Ichigo wished he could say he'd never had doubts but when does a heartbeat do that? It faded in and out, just barely staying in existence and there were several times when Ichigo would be awakened by a long, continuous beep only for it to suddenly make the smallest of rises on the glowing green heart monitor. He couldn't even have imagined what it would've looked like if someone had properly kept track of all the times his heart stopped beating. He could see the doctors and nurses had given up hope for him, and why not? Oxygen can't get to the brain if the heart's not pumping and if oxygen can't get to the brain then in simple terms, you're dead. What Shiro had been doing defied everything. Alive but dead? It was exactly as they had said; 'impossible'. It was something they didn't know, something they didn't understand and because of that they were afraid. That cowardice led them to lose hope. It infuriated Ichigo, but more than that, it had scared him. He didn't want to lose hope. Of all things, He felt losing hope would somehow mean losing his brother, and there was nothing-_nothing_ he wouldn't do to avoid that. _But he'd lost him anyway, hadn't he? _

Ichigo shook his head. No, he hadn't; Shiro was right here, right beside him, at home, where he belonged.

Ichigo stared down at his unconscious twin, the sunlight coming in through the curtains of his window dancing playfully on his features. His ivory skin seemed to glow in the morning light. Ichigo brushed a stray hair out of his brother's face and smiled crookedly.

He had his brother and if nothing else he was happy. The doctors had said that he wouldn't wake up and now he was here. It was better than anyone could've expected. Shiro wasn't injured; in fact he hardly had a scar but for the big one that his hair covered. He did have some brain damage but nothing so severe so that he couldn't function. Other than his memories and maybe his level of strength, Shiro was fine.

That was one other promise he'd made; that when Shiro woke up-no matter what happened- he'd act as if everything had been normal. They'd all-Dad, Yuzu, Karin and him- made that promise to some degree. None of them were good with dealing with things like that; it was why they never talked sadly about Mom.

His initial reaction when he saw Shiro awaken actually _had_ been something along the lines of what he'd said but the thought was quickly trampled by the sudden urge to embrace his finally conscious twin-even if it was only the zombie Shiro. Somehow, he wasn't sure, he'd kept his cover, even restraining himself when he saw his brother's vivid gold irises flare in his direction, full of life and perhaps even a little irritation from him smacking him. He was proud of himself- right up until Shiro started talking all crazy. Actually, even then it had been surprisingly easy to play along despite the pitfall of disappointment in that Shiro seemed to have forgotten who he was.

Well, He remembered some things, it seemed, it was just that he confused them. With really weird crap.

Ichigo would've liked to know what the dream was but his brother wouldn't tell him all at once. He was always like that when he was on his last resource; coveting, secretive. He knew that somewhere in the back of his mind, it frustrated Shiro. He always liked to have a sense of what was going on, some control, but with his memory wiped and replaced by some dream, there was no chance of that.

But either way, Ichigo had a sneaking suspicion that Shiro's dream might actually be a new version of his old memories- same plot, different story. As horrifying as it sounded from what Shiro had told him, getting him to retell his story might trigger some of his older, _real_ memories as well. Ichigo wondered how Shiro would react to such sudden recollections. He guessed it was like Shiro had said about the dam thing.

Which reminded him of his idea-There shouldn't have been any protest for it; No one was supposed to be home today and Shiro had said that he'd be fine going so it was worth a shot. His condition shouldn't have affected him too much, if anything, it proved Shiro wouldn't be held down. Ichigo would be there for guidance if he needed it, so if luck was on his side, he might actually force a memory out of Shiro today.

He felt his brother shift on the bed and his focus was drawn back to the sleeping albino. Still stroking the silvery hair, Ichigo wondered if Shiro was in the middle of another dream. His open mouth twitching up into a relaxed smile told him something of the likes. Or maybe he just liked being petted.

"Mmm…"

Ichigo grinned. "Wake up, sleepy. We've gotta get ready."

"Ah...hmm…?" Shiro's pale eyelids fluttered and opened to reveal the dazed golden orbs that had hidden behind them. He squinted up, sleepily, the soft smile still on his face. His eyes looked over Ichigo's face then stopped.

The black gold eyes widened and Shiro jolted, flinging his twin's hand away. He lost his balance and fell off the other side of the bed with a yelp. There was a hard thud as he crashed to the floor, trapping himself between the bed and the wall where Ichigo couldn't see him.

"Shiro!" Ichigo jumped back onto the bed and stared down at the other side where his twin sat rubbing his head, disoriented. "You Okay?"

"mm…fine," he groaned. He rubbed his face tiredly and then stared ahead of himself, with a blank expression which in turn changed to a frown. Ichigo wondered if maybe waking him up like that had been a bad idea. The albino pushed his fingers against his eyelids.

"Ya' scared the shit outa me," He admitted. He stood up and looked around the room.

"Hm, still not back yet, Surprise, surprise," He muttered to himself, seeming not to care whether Ichigo heard him or not. "'Cept…this is your room…"

"You fell asleep on my desk," Ichigo sighed, moving over to the pile of clothes he'd placed on the dresser earlier. "And I wasn't gonna carry your sleepy ass back down the stairs to your room at whatever-the-hell-it-was AM." He listened as Shiro choked on that information but said nothing to deny what it implied. "Oh, and Yuzu's pissed at you."

"Huh? Why?"

Ichigo turned back to face his brother who had sat down warily on the edge of the bed again after climbing over it. "You ate all the food last night didn't you?"

Shiro's face visibly fell at that. "Oh…shit."

Ichigo himself had been a little surprised by the discovery this morning as well but he wasn't nearly as caught up about it as Yuzu. She'd had a bit of a mini-fit, threatening to go and wake Shiro up, until Karin reminded her of yesterday's events and that if she woke him up he might attack on instinct, thinking it was their father. She also made note that he_ had _cleaned the dishes after and the food had been made for him anyway. She decided that rather than wake him up, she would yell at him later. Ichigo had decided to be merciful.

"Don't worry, I grabbed your clothes for you so you don't have to back down there," Ichigo said, tossing the bundle in his hands. Shiro caught it and began to unravel the mess.

"No collar this time?" he smirked, his black-gold eyes narrowing in amusement. Ichigo frowned and ignored the tease. He turned away from his brother and began to fumble with his and Shiro's backpacks, making sure they had what they needed, while Shiro changed into his uniform. There was a light snort behind him and in the next second Shiro's pyjama shirt had collided with the back of his head. Ichigo picked it up with a growl and peeked over his shoulder only to see Shiro innocently putting the fresh shirt on. He tried to focus back on the bags, attempting to ignore the albino's "prude" comments. And failing slightly.

"Hey, relax will ya? You're all tense," Shiro purred, jumping up onto the desk and staring down at him. "My first day of school, don't ya' wanna keep me from gettin' nervous?"

Ichigo gave him a flat look. "You've been to school before and we're sixteen years old; I don't need to help you with anything. And get off my desk."

He swatted at the albino forcing him to jump back onto the bed. Shiro laughed. "Oh really? You've been awful helpful despite what you're saying. You forget; I'm not used to this. What will you do if I get the wrong idea?"

Tired of the mocking tone, Ichigo launched Shiro's backpack at his head. He picked his own backpack up and hung it over his one shoulder.

"Quit playing around, we're already gonna be late because of you," he growled.

Shiro rolled his black-gold eyes. "Tch, Yer no fun, you know that?"

"What? I am so- Oh whatever. C'mon, and try to be quiet too. You're gonna have to sneak if you wanna make it past Dad and Yuzu." He began to walk out of the room when he realised he had forgotten something. He went through the drawer of his dresser and pulled out the reflective black glasses. He turned to face his brother.

"Oh, and don't forget your sunglasse- _Shiro!_" Before Ichigo had the chance to even move toward the direction of the window sill, his brother had already jumped. He collided against its edge and just caught as his brother agiley landed on the grass with a crouch. He looked shaky for a moment before he stood up and turned to give Ichigo a shit-eating grin. Ichigo stared down at him incredulously.

"Pass 'em down!"

Ichigo realised what he was referring to and shook his head wearily tossing the sunglasses out the window. Shiro caught them with ease and slid them over his black-gold eyes with a smirk.

Looking smug, Ichigo watched as his brother walked away, the messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Ichigo had no idea what had compelled him to jump out the window but he had to admit he was a little impressed-but more annoyed. Then Shiro's legs gave out and he fell forward onto the grass.

"Just wait there! I'll be out in a second," he called, exasperated. He should've known better. Shiro always seemed to think he was superman for some reason. Hopefully his weakness would be a reality check for him when he realised that _he couldn't jump out windows_. It was tough being his older twin sometimes.

Back when they were younger it had always been Shiro looking out for _him,_ strangely enough. Ichigo guessed age didn't mean anything to Shiro, especially when it was only different by a few minutes. Strange that Ichigo should be thinking of that now; of the time he'd first lost him. It didn't matter though, they couldn't be kept separate; they always found each other somehow, whether they wanted to or not. Except maybe it was the first time he was the one searching when Shiro was lost.

He would get his brother back; he would find Shiro's memories for him, then, maybe, they could finally move on, away from all the lunacy and confusion. He wouldn't lose his brother again; He promised.

---------------------------------------------

"Just wait there! I'll be out in a second," he called, exasperated.

I cursed and then began to right myself into a sitting position on the grass. Well, it had worked at first; if I weren't so weak it probably would've been fine. Though it still hadn't worked out that bad; I didn't have to face Yuzu or Goat chin and my only compromise would be a couple of grass stains and an overprotective Ichigo. Nothing new with that one, except that it was _me_ was being protective about. I still couldn't quite comprehend that.

I took the chance to check my pulse while I waited for him. My jump had caused it to shoot around a bit, but it was still going at a fairly steady rate. It was an awkward thing; it seemed to have no consistent rhythm at first, but then as you listened long enough you could find a distinct pattern in its beats. I wondered if Ichigo's was the same as mine seeing as we were twins and all. I'd almost been afraid it would be gone by this morning. Hollows just don't get lucky breaks like this, but…as long as it was still beating…

Except maybe it wasn't so much a lucky break as I thought; I felt exhausted. Like someone had literally drained all the strength out of my body and kicked me aside. More specifically, they had decided to stomp on my head, smash my face in, gouge at my eyes a little and _then_ steal all my energy. I remember this feeling from before when my mask shattered. It would have to be for a different reason here, my lack of strength and energy couldn't just be explained by a shattering mask. Probably didn't help that I had fallen asleep on Ichigo's desk.

This place was weird. He'd actually gone out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. I had already figured that this Ichigo wasn't as big a jackass as the former but _really? _To go as far as…put me…in his bed…with…him…I wasn't sure whether I was flattered or highly disturbed. It explained the warm-oh no that was _too_ weird. Definitely was rearing toward disturbing. But it was…_nice _of him all the same, if only for me being less tired for school.

To be honest, I was actually a little anxious. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't give a shit what any of those pathetic weaklings-ignoring the fact the I was one at the moment- in school might think of me, but the personal humiliation if I messed something up…I didn't want to have to face it. Being a 'little voice' in someone's head myself I knew how nasty they could be. And it wasn't as if my ego hadn't suffered enough already.

I heard Ichigo's footsteps on the grass behind me and I turned to squint up at him against the bright sun. Apparently the sunglasses were useless for anything but seeing your own reflection. "'sup?"

"Are you stupid? You jumped out the window. Can you even tell me what the hell was running through your head?" Ichigo scolded me. I rolled my eyes from behind the glasses.

"Jus' how much I'd always wanted ta' learn ta' fly," was my sarcastic reply. He struck out his hand and I stared at it for a moment before he changed his mind and decided to grab my wrist and pull me up himself.

"C'mon, let's go before the old man decides to ambush us," he said.

"Moron; what did ya' think I was doin' before?" I sneered.

He paused dramatically. "Being a moron?"

I glared at the back of Ichigo's orange head as I picked up the backpack that had fallen onto the ground beside me. He stopped walking suddenly and then turned to me.

"Hold this for me will you?" Ichigo asked, handing me his bag. I hung both over my shoulder, around my neck like the way I would Zangetsu. Distracted by the task I didn't notice him when he grabbed my legs until I was suddenly lifted of the ground. I yelped and haphazardly threw my arms into a chokehold around his neck.

"Hey! Wha-What're ya' doin'?!" I gasped in alarm.

"I'm carrying you," He answered simply with complete nonchalance. "In this world it's called a piggyback."

"It's also called degrading!" I hissed in agitation. Did he not understand…? He was carrying me! It was pathetic! I hate being pathetic! Stupid bastard, Ichigo…"Put me down! My legs aren't broken; I can walk on my own!" I dug my ebony nails into his shoulders in a useless attempt to get him to drop me- If it hurt him, he didn't let it show.

"If I put you down we'll never make it to school so suck it up for a little while," He huffed, hitching me up higher on his back without so much as a warning, causing me to grit my teeth in frustration. "This is what you get for not going to sleep at a decent time like I told you to."

I frowned and grumbled into his hair, giving up my futile struggling. This body was useless; seriously, I share a body with the King so I _know_ useless. It was useless and weak. For the first time in my entire life I found myself wishing I had the shared usage of his body back instead of having my own. Well, that wasn't really true; this body wasn't actually mine after all, it was Shiro's. _My _body was hiding somewhere beneath the skin waiting to tear out, mask, claws, tail and all. And you know what the first thing I had planned to do with it was gonna be? Destroy this worthless, piece of crap, excuse for a body.

I glowered at everything we passed, my cheek resting on Ichigo's soft tangerine coloured hair. Despite popular belief he didn't smell like strawberries-just that same warmth that was currently annoying me with how fast it made me calm down. Our school bags swung softly from my shoulder with every step Ichigo took and I made a low guttural growl every time he stopped to hitch me up higher along his back.

"You're moody," Ichigo noted quietly after a long bout of silence, as if he thought I should suddenly just burst into song from sheer joy and happiness. I wrinkled my nose, distastefully.

"You're carrying me," I grumbled. "I don't care what happened to your brother; this is pathetic. You're stupid if ya' don't realise that."

"You are my brother," he answered automatically, saying nothing more as he turned the corner.

I grimaced. "I don't understand. If it's gonna be like this I should've just stayed home. Why do I even have ta' go to school, anyway?" _It's not like its valuable knowledge for me. Alls I need to know how to do is swing Zangetsu and kill whatever gets in my way._

"You need to do something besides sit on a bed," Ichigo sighed. "And anyway, I can't just leave you at home. You can't be left by yourself like this and the house is gonna be empty today; Dad's working down at the main hospital all day and I can't miss another day of school."

"So bring the coma kid with ya'? Yeah, that sounds smart," I scoffed. I muttered under my breath about how much of an Idiot he was and Ichigo hitched me up higher causing me to yelp and then curse at him.

"Can't you do anything besides insult me?" He asked, irritation beginning to form in his voice. I kicked his side in response and he winced but decided to continue speaking, softening his tone. "Why don't you tell me more from your dream," he suggested. We weren't far from the school now.

I laughed harshly. "Why should I?"

"Because you owe me one for your question last night, about how long you were in the coma or something like that," he replied coolly. I cursed under my breath. I hadn't thought he'd remember that let alone that he would use it against me-Which, of course, was stupid because that's what he did best. I said nothing for a long moment, feeling the breeze play with the hair in front of my face.

"I'll give ya' one later. I'm pissed at ya' right now."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

I kicked him again.

I…wasn't even supposed to be here. I should've been where I belonged. Or, well, not exactly belonged, but…I don't know. This place was confusing the hell out of me. It was a little frustrating that just when I'd finally begun to get an understanding of my existence, I ended up getting semi-killed and then awakened to something else, completely different. Not unfair, but frustrating. And hell knows what happened to Ichigo's brother.

I just didn't understand how this could've happened or where he went. Was he wandering around somewhere? A detached soul? Maybe he'd try to fight me for his body back…except, it'd be useless to him if he were already dead. Maybe he had become a hollow. He might come back then, and if he knocked me out of this body I could fight him in soul form. But, a regular hollow doesn't stand a chance against even _half_ a vaizard; the fight would be over before it even started.

I huffed. This was useless. I didn't know how to get out of here- I didn't even know if I could.

"…_A month…?"_

"_Yeah, that's all…" _

"_A month is still a while, Ichigo…" _

I narrowed my eyes and buried my face into Ichigo's hair. What if I really was his brother? Not saying I actually thought so, but what if I was? What then, if I didn't have anything at all? There was nothing I'd wanted, I realised. Only to crush the King, take control and…what? Wing it, I suppose. Life seemed some much more exciting when you actually had to fight for it, I noted with a bitter laugh.

I could swear it hadn't been a dream. I'd felt the frustration, the thrill, the betrayal and I could still recall the way the blade felt in my hand, catching it from crashing down onto the king's head. The rush of power and of hunger that came next, the agonizing pain of having my mask ripped off, the _rain_; it was all real to me, there hadn't been one second when I had doubted in its existence. How could I possibly ignore all that? It was as clear as day. What made this place real? If anything it was even more unbelievable.

"_Shit…_"

I lifted my head up at Ichigo's curse and peered at him curiously. "What's wrong, partner?"

He stood frozen to the spot, staring stupidly at a single black vehicle with dark tinted windows trailing slowly down the road towards us. He looked as if he wanted to break for it but at the same time there was only one direction 'we' could run. I wondered if perhaps this idiot had managed to figure out a way to piss off a local yakuza.

He swallowed rather loudly and spoke in a choked whisper. "…I-It's…Zangetsu…Ossan…"

As if on cue, the driver window rolled down to reveal a calm-but rather angry looking man with dark visor-sunglasses and thick, wavy, brown hair that hung down to his shoulders. He drove the car up to where Ichigo stood on the side walk and looked up at us with a frown. I shot him an awkward grin from Ichigo's shoulders.

"Are we going somewhere in particular? This is not the usual route you take to school. Is it that you wanted to get there late, that you wanted to enjoy the morning, or that you are avoiding someone?" Zangetsu inquired coolly, clearly already knowing the answer. I raised an eyebrow and smirked down at Ichigo's stunned expression, gaping mouth and all-I had to hand it to him; he really knew how to look brainless. Funny, I hadn't even realised.

"A…ah-ha-ha-ha…Uh…we, uh…" Ichigo trailed off as Zangetsu gave him a flat look that stated simply; he wasn't falling for it. I rolled my eyes. _You fail, Ichigo. You just fail._

I heard a click sound from the car's door and he gestured for us to get into the back seat. And then I heard something that I would definitely have to add to the list of things I had never thought I would ever hear come out of Zangetsu's mouth; "_Busted._"

* * *

_**Things are revealed! If not a coma, what was really wrong with Ichigo's brother? Is Shiro's world really just a dream? What about Ichigo supposedly losing Shiro before?? And will I ever shut up and stop asking these irritating questions???? We'll find out, next time on-*is shot***_

**Okay, I personally apologize for this chapter. 'You made them wait all this time for **_**this???**_**'-that's what the voice in my head is saying. I'm sorry. And I know there are probably mistakes in it. I try to fix them, I really do, but I miss things and force you lovely readers to suffer through it, because I'm horrible like that.**

**I also discovered-stupid me- that my initial calculation of Shiro being a month old is a few days off. I cannot give an exact date (since Kubo doesn't pay attention to how he writes his time frames apparently D:) for when he does his fight with Ichigo but I **_**can**_** say (roughly estimating) that Shiro's official birthday, or more, **_**anniversary **_**is ****July 26****! YAYS!!! (If there is any news of some sort of…I dunno…cataclysmic disaster on this date in the area of Keswick/Sutton, Ontario Canada…it **_**wasn't**_** me!)**

**Thank you, to my reviewers! Seriously, I would be nowhere without you guys! **_**Seriously…**_


	5. Psycho

**JULY 26!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY/ANNIVERSARY SHIRO!!! XDDDD And look I give to the world...an update! The bad news is the chapter's shorter then usual. Ah, well...I finally updated!! It took me forever to write this chapter because I kept re-writing it and changing it around. No matter what I did it wasn't good enough and I kept getting stuck (Part of it was because Zangetsu was being a bitch to write. His character is too hard for me! DX). I almost let this story go so a big thanks to MissFlesh for that 'late' review because it helped push me to continue! Thanks to all my other Reviewers (and alerters/favouriters) as well! *hugs you all* I was gonna save this chapter for tomorrow but I got too impatient and I took the horse whinnies outside my window as an ominous sign. XD Of course it's raining now too as write this...ah well, it smells nice. Also, I'm gonna try to answer reviews at the bottom of each chapter from now on because I lose track of who I reply to and I can reply to anonymous reviewers as well, not to mention I want to show you guys how much I appreciate it.^^ **

**Anyway, here it is, chapter five! Things are finally setting in motion!**

* * *

I used to think…around the time I was first 'born' that I knew Ichigo best. We were the same person so we should think somewhat the same, right? Even despite my change? Wrong. So wrong it was funny. Ridiculously so.

I wasn't very powerful in the beginning I'll admit, (I was born from the weakest part of him-the part that couldn't avoid becoming hollow and even on the best circumstances, becoming a hollow takes a lot of ya'. Literally.) But like Ichigo I advanced quickly. So it wasn't long until I gained enough strength and figured out ways of peaking out to the surface and into his mind, then further discovering ways of stretching myself so that I could put some of my power in our body and give us a…bit of a boost you could say, though I still didn't have enough power in me to maintain that or take control. I got to watch some of Ichigo's actions and as I pondered his decisions I came to the conclusion that, quite simply, he didn't have clue what he was doing about 80% of the time. Nothing personal in that except that Zangetsu and I always got dragged along for the ride.

So I grew a little…irritated with Ichigo. And thought he was an idiot. Which Zangetsu disapproved of (Why may I ask?) and I in turn ignored. Some of the things Ichigo did just didn't make sense; I could always find a quicker more efficient path when met with the same problem.

So if it wasn't me who understood Ichigo best, that left the only other person freeloading in the back of his mind (actually, technically speaking, _he_ was freeloading off of _us,_ but that's besides the point). Watching Zangetsu and Ichigo wordlessly duke it out only affirmed what I knew. I could see Ichigo and Zangetsu arguing with each other with their eyes, managing to somehow communicate without speaking. They weren't mind readers-well, Zangetsu might be- yet a conversation was clearly being held between Ichigo's shining bronze irises and the rear-view mirror in which Zangetsu's visor-covered gaze was reflected.

I tapped a rhythm on the car's door, feeling utterly bored. Might I add; Zangetsu's car was nice? Actually, that was an understatement; it was badass. Who would've thought that Zangetsu would do so well for himself out in the real world? (Or not the real world. Whatever the hell this place was.) Just like the outside of the car, the interior was nearly all a pure black-the occasional bit of red here and there. I wondered if I had perhaps discovered the origins of Shiro's black obsession. It reminded me of the original Zangetsu's suit and of Ichigo's bankai.

Bankai…what did goat-chin say Zangetsu's name was again…? Oh right; _Tensa_ Zangetsu. I snorted. Well, didn't that just figure?

Unfortunately my amusement didn't go unnoticed and the silent argument between Zangetsu and Ichigo turned onto me. I considered making a break for it out the door but Zangetsu read it clear off my face before I could act on it and clicked the locks (Yes, the stupid child safety ones so, no, I couldn't just 'open the door'). Zangetsu's glare in the mirror was sharp enough to make any normal person wince in fear but obviously I am not so weak and I countered back with a nice, decent sized shit-eating grin.

"Can I help you?" I asked him with mock sincerity. Ichigo remained quiet at my side.

"Why'd you go along with his plan?"

I frowned in confusion, surprised by the former zampakuto's quick demand. "Someone had a plan?"

"Ichigo did," Zangetsu responded simply. "…I don't suppose he didn't tell you?" Before I could even ask him what the hell he meant his sharp gaze was once again targeted on my 'twin'.

"Ichigo, you know it's not a good idea to have a person who only just woke up from a coma walking around the town and expending energy they probably don't have. You should know better."

"But Zangetsu-ossan..."

"It will be there tommorow as it will the day after. There's no need to rush about. The first concern is your brother's health."

I sighed internally. I'd been hoping that at least Zangetsu would be able to see that I wasn't their Shiro. Though, I geuss if I thought back, Zangetsu had rarely ever tried to differentiate between me and Ichigo, so-sadly enough- this was a step up in a way and probably as good as it was gonna get.

"Besides," Zangetsu said, "Wouldn't it be better to bring the whole family?"

I had the sudden notion we weren't talking about school anymore.

"…I guess so…"

"We're going back," He announced. I wondered if it was possible to get whip-lash just from listening to two people speaking. Ichigo opened his mouth to argue, but came out mute. Zangetsu's voice left a rift in the space inside the car, like he'd used a 'Getsuga Tenshou' to carve into the air itself. I could understand why Ichigo had chosen not to speak. Anything we said would be unheard by the man in the dark suit and sunglasses.

He re-started the car and shifted gears out of park and it suddenly felt a lot colder. I shivered uncomfortably. It was funny, I hadn't even clued in he was really angry until the car began moving. It was in his silence, you could feel it.

Ichigo must have noticed too because the warm feeling seeping out of him evaporated and what was left had tucked itself away, hiding inside the owner. The worst part was that I couldn't even think of some sarcastic remark to bring it back out. Another shiver shot through me and I frowned in irritation, rubbing my arm to try and smooth down the goose-bumps. I'd thought it was just a psychological warmth but the temperature was actually dropping down. Unless it was all in my head. Was it all in my head? It didn't feel like it. Hell if I could deal with anything being 'all in my head' right now.

I shifted in my seat, leaning as close as I possibly could against the window, hoping that some of the sun's light would warm me up. The blue sky looked all too imposing at the moment. No, I was getting this sky confused with the King's, the one that didn't want me. The seemingly ubiquitous blue was resurrecting my semi-forgotten feeling of being drained.

Flashes of colour shot by and danced in my peripheral vision as Zangetsu quickly drove us back the way we came. I wasn't really focusing on the details of each of the buildings we passed, I was trying to keep my eyelids open and fight against the growing split in my skull. Maybe this body wasn't used to cold like mine was. Hell, I didn't know, the kid could've have had illness or something-it couldn't possibly have been healthy for a human to have a body matching that of a hollow, an inner hollow no less. _But just all of a sudden like this…? _My heartbeat made an unpleasant stutter._ Maybe I'm killing it._

I tore my eyes away from the window and forced myself to stare down at my knees despite my heavy eyelids. The sunglasses weren't helping. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and reopened them. I decided upon taking the glasses off. They weren't doing anything for me, and I wasn't gonna hide eyes I wasn't even ashamed of from Zangetsu.

"Zangetsu-san," I gasped, surprising myself when my voice barely came above a whisper. That was a little weird. A pair of molten bronze and sharp tawny irises shot to me at the sound of my voice, Ichigo's face lighting up with worry as his amber orbs trailed over me. I considered making a witty comment about his alarmed expression but instead ended up forcing out a "Stop the car."

Ichigo's eyes widened and his hand shot out to touch my forehead. The normal me would've tried to take a snap at him (jokingly…?) but the faulty body was restricting me. The car didn't stop moving but started speeding up. Zangetsu made quick glances from me to the road to Ichigo and back to the road.

"Check his pulse!" Zangetsu commanded, much to my confusion. At least his voice wasn't all cold and angry anymore but now it was unwarrantedly concerned.

"My pulse…?" I choked out. Why were they worried about that? It was fine…Ichigo tugged at my hand and then pressed down upon my wrist.

"It's fine!" Ichigo called up to the front, dittoing my thoughts and causing me to roll my eyes. Which turned out to be a bad idea.

"Keep a hold on it! I'll get us back to the clininc as soon as possible. I'll have to call Isshin. Make sure you keep him awake," As Zangetsu spoke he whipped the car around the corner and I lost my balance, toppling onto Ichigo. I growled indignantly but quickly recovered with a grin up at Ichigo's face.

My 'twin' frowned and he shifted me up, then gestured for me to sit closer. I raised a questioning eyebrow and smirked (which took more out of me than I cared to admit) which he responded to with an exasperated huff and he yanked me to his side. The gradually escaping warmth came back to me but I could only barely keep my eyes open.

"What's going on?" I asked, thinking if I had to keep myself alert the best way to do that-besides taking a blade and slashing someone up with it (because nothing is more exhilarating than a good fight)- would be talking.

"It's okay Shiro, you're gonna be all right." Okay, that helped…nada.

I tried again with the same question. "What's going on?"

He was ignoring me. Ichigo was ignoring me. Have I mentioned how much I hate that?

Before I could think of anything violent to do to my almost-identical a loud snap brought me back around to see Zangetsu opening up a small _nokia_ cell-phone and dial in a number. I listened in as he asked to speak to Goat-chin (well, actually he asked to speak to Kurosaki Isshin but same difference right?) and there was a long pause with what sounded like a lot of commotion on the other line. Finally, the man picked up and Zangetsu asked if he could make it down to the clinic, that his son needed quick medical attention (me as Goat-chin's son…no, that will never sound right. Ever). There was another long pause, some shouting from the other end as Goat-chin yelled at some 'stupid newbie' –he got pretty serious on the job-, and then some more silence which was probably him telling Zangetsu what to do. Zangetsu snapped the phone shut.

"What'd he say?" Ichigo asked, the moment the phone closed.

"Someone will meet us there," Was Zangetsu's cryptic reply.

I took a sharp inhale of breath and released it. They were worried about me. I had to make myself understand that, how it was possible. _Ichigo is worried about me. He's not trying to kill me. He's worried for his brother. Stay awake…stay awake, stay awake, stay awake!_

Ichigo shook my shoulder violently and I realised I'd been drifting off again. Actually it wasn't like drifting off-that was the strange part- it was like I was being pulled in a different direction; _inside_. Sounds fucked I know, but I assure you, weirder things have happened. Like waking up to this place for instance or me and Ichigo getting along- Now _that's_ fucked up.

It kept running through me, over and over; _we were getting along_. It was like having ice-water dumped down your back, shocking, overwhelming, but weirdly refreshing. That very same ice-water-thought was helpful now, trying to keep myself aware. But then, ice-water can only refresh one for so long before it feels like rain.

"We're here!" Zangetsu announced quickly and Ichigo sighed in a sort of strangled form of relief. I for one wondered where the hell the past ten or so minutes went. I slid out of the car door after Ichigo and he threw my arm around his shoulder when I stood (which I didn't think was particularly necessary or wanted). His molten bronze eyes met with my own and he searched for a moment while I scanned over the strained look of his face and the way his jaw clenched and unclenched. Hell, I was glad I wasn't in his inner world. I could just sense the storm clouds pulling over atop of me preparing to crash down in painful stinging torrents. I shuddered and suppressed the inclined urge to pull away. At the very least if I stayed close to him I could get some of the warmth he gave off and prevent myself from turning into a Popsicle of a corpse.

I no longer bothered trying to bite back the burn of humiliation, being carried along. There was no point anymore. I was far past my limit of degradation and had been pushing further and further away long before I'd even arrived here, I was barely hanging on to that slippery edge of what remained of my dignity, I met as well go with it. Besides, I've heard cliff diving can be thrilling.

Zangetsu had rushed in ahead, likely to speak with the on-call. I tried to imagine who it might be but came to nothing, even after quickly sifting through the King's memories that were (mostly) still preserved in me from before I'd been 'born'. In fact, I was fairly sure the king's lunatic father had always looked after Ichigo for anything and it wasn't like Ichigo had gotten sick that much. I used my curiosity as a tool to keep myself conscious.

Ichigo, furrowing his eyebrows so deeply it seemed they were carving into his face, ushered us through the door of the Kurosaki clinic with its sign telling us and the world they were closed, apologizing for any inconvenience or loss of life which always seemed morbidly comical. I was about to comment on it when I heard a voice that made me choke on my words. Ichigo brought us out to the living room and stopped in his tracks as well. Zangetsu stood of to the side, his expression unreadable.

I let out a low moan. "Oh hell no."

His smile grew and I think I gagged a little.

"Urahara-san? What're you doing here?" Ichigo asked while I hung off his side stuck between trying to gape and stay awake which I could feel turn into something pretty damn close to disgust. "You aren't…"

"No, I am!" He proclaimed cheerily. "Your father gave me a call and I came as fast as I could! Wouldn't want to lose one of my best workers now would I?" He waved his fan at us, but eyed me in particular.

_Workers? What?_ My stomach took a plummet and I was already protesting.

"No way. This is ain't gonna happen. That freak is not playing doctor on me," I stated firmly.

"Now, now," The shop manager rebuked, snapping his fan closed. "I'm actually highly qualified! And besides, I think we know who the bigger freak of the two of us is!" He sang and grabbed the free arm at my side that wasn't on Ichigo's shoulder.

"Thank you Kurosaki-san! If you'll just wait out here!" He yanked me away from my 'twin' and began to drag me down the hall as I cried sentiments of '_Don't listen ta' him Ichigo! He's a fuckin' rapist! A psycho! He eats little children!_' that the man somehow fit to a show tune he was whistling. Ichigo stared moronically, not even of bothering to help, with a torn look in his eyes.

The insane former-captain tugged me through the doors of the clinic room and locked the door behind him with a click as I stumbled forward into a table. I spun around quickly and tensed against the cold metal waiting for him turn around as well. If I weren't trapped in this useless body I'd be fine, but since that wasn't the case, I could tell whatever Urahara Kisuke decided to do, I was fucked. At the very least though I could try and scare the guy shitless with what was left of my non-existent strength.

I grinned and hoped it didn't look as crappy as I felt. His momentary pause at the door ended and he turned to me.

"Long time no see, Urahara-san, it's been a while," I hummed sardonically. _A real fuckin' while. _And I can't say I was all too thrilled meeting my 'accidental' creator for the first time I was sentient. The first I _saw_ the guy was in flashes somewhere between the unbearable ripping, burning pain of becoming hollow, splitting in half, and either me or Ichigo opening our eyes from behind a mask in those first few disorienting moments. Did I feel a hint of nostalgia toward the guy? Nope. Not one damn bit.

I kept my grin in place, carefully watching his movements and reactions. I was initially startled by the shop-manager's calm, solemn expression but I pushed it aside. His hand made a move for a pocket on the inside of his signature dark green haori and I followed the motion with my eyes. He pulled out what appeared to be a small bottle of pills.

"I'm surprised, Kurosaki Mashiro-san-" The use of the full name that belonged to Ichigo's brother caused me to flinch for some unknown reason "-In all the time I've known you…" he paused to opened up the lid of the bottle, pouring one small pill into his hand. "In all the time I've known you,you've never removed your sunglasses once."

My hand shot up to my face reflexively but I shook my head, replacing my quick seconds of surprise with my grin again. My eyelids were _not_ working with me anymore. I probably looked like a moronic school girl fluttering my eye lashes. I could feel it- It wouldn't be long before it appeared I was swooning either.

I shrugged my shoulder. "_So_? What's it to ya?"

"I was aware of why you were hiding them," he said. "But…this is the first time I've understood there to be a reason why they are like that."

My instincts were not happy with me at the moment. An animal's basic instincts in these sorts of situations usually consist of fight or flight. Now flight isn't normally in my dictionary but at the moment my instincts were saying that, hell, it would've been better than the whole lot of nothing I was doing now. My most animalistic part of me whined for me to attack and even more so for my weapon of choice, the great white and black cleaver, Zangetsu. I didn't like how my former creator got closer as he talked. He was only about a couple feet away from me. I considered maybe seeing how much damage my non-claws could do to his face if he got too close for comfort.

"I thought I'd sensed something different about you for a long time now but it was only after just arriving here was I completely sure," he said. I wasn't trapped yet. All I had to do was move fast enough and I'd be around him, unlocking the door, and making a break for it.

"Of course, I came here prepared either way so, no matter, this problem will be solved, Kurosaki Mashiro-san."

_Problem? Which one? _He took another step.

"Except, I can't really call you that now can I, _Hollow-san_?"

There was a sharp prick in my neck before I had even realised he'd moved. I gasped as I felt a hot liquid be squeezed inside. My useless legs turned to jelly and I sank, slowly, to the floor like they do in those dramatic movies where the person gets poisoned and dies with this big look of shock on their face like they hadn't seen it coming though they were usually murderers themselves. The needle I hadn't known he'd had was plucked from my neck once it had emptied itself into my blood. I huffed and tried to stare up at my assailant, give him a big old 'fuck you' grin, but my focus was lost. My eyelids closed against my will and I heard an irritating chortle sound before me.

"Oh my…maybe I should've given you the pill first. Oh well, open up!"

There were two hands on my face squeezing my mouth open to drop the pill he'd been holding in his hand down my throat. Now, this needle he'd stabbed me with kept me from ripping his throat out. Do you think he made a bad fucking choice doing it in this order?

"Sorry about this Hollow-san. I'm sure you'll understand," he said. I wanted to raise an eyebrow at him. _I'll understand? That you ambushed me? _I didn't like his new name for me either.

"D…don't…" I was pushing out words through still lips but he seemed to have heard me for it went dead silent.

"Don't…call…me that…"

"What's that Hollow-san?"

"M' name's…jus'…Shiro…"

"Oh now-"

He was cut off by a darkness I was only all too familiar with.

* * *

**Cliff hanger again. I'm so horrible DX . I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter a little. Review please. Shiro's life depends on it (and mine too).**


	6. Pressure

I knew I was fully awake when the stream of curses that had been slipping past my lips of their own warranting, silenced, after my body braced another crash to the floor. I shook my head and cursed one more time for the hell of it. I couldn't feel the entire left side of my body so no pain there, but fuck, if I could move there wouldn't be this problem in the first place.

I crawled back up onto my feet, using the table for support and attempted to drag myself toward the door, holding my lame left arm and trying to rub it back to life. I wondered vaguely why this body seemed to hate me so much when King's usually welcomed me with open arms and more. Okay maybe King's body didn't welcome me necessarily but at least it _worked._

"Dammit, dammit..."

The door clicked open in front of me, allowing light to slice into the darkened clinic room. I tensed as the door widened and more light spilled in, a single shadow interrupting its immaculate flood.

My breath came out in a big whoosh as I registered my twin carrying a tray with…a whole fuck-load of crackers. He stopped dead and his eyes moved over me, clutching my arm pathetically, grinning lopsidedly with only the right side of my face.

"Yo."

His mildly surprised expression changed into of exasperation-an expression he seemed to wear a lot around me for some reason. He rolled his eyes and placed the tray he'd been carrying onto the countertop just off to the side of the door. Wordlessly, he walked over to me and draped my limp arm over his shoulders, clearly intending to help me hobble wherever I needed to go. Perfect.

"Ichigo, I gotta get out of here," I said firmly, catching his attention.

He looked at me blankly. "What?"

"I have to go," I repeated. I tried to pull him forward to indicate that I wanted to move.

He frowned in confusion not budging in the slightest. "What do you mean?"

"Oh geezus, I don't have time for this," I huffed and started to pull away on my own only to have Ichigo finally get the god damn picture and start helping me toward the door.

"What did…Urahara do to you?" I raised an eyebrow and took a quick glance at Ichigo whose expression had hardened into an unreadable mask. I checked around us but the halls were empty, and the rest of the house appeared to have been stunned into silence. Strange, I couldn't sense Zangetsu at all. Had he left? And why weren't Karin or Yuzu back yet? Or Goat-chin?

I sighed. "It doesn't matter what he did. Look Ichigo, you know that deal we had where we have to tell each other little bits and pieces of our stories? I'm gonna give ya' a whole big chunk but I need ya' to keep on movin' and help me get to your brother's room."

"You are my brother," He corrected automatically.

"Maybe," I muttered quietly. Then mentally smacked myself for saying something so stupid.

"Did you just-?"

"Never mind. Do you believe in ghosts, Ichigo?" I had to pick up the pace. I was gonna get caught at this rate. Where the hell was that infernal plushie, Kon?

"Shiro, what's going on? What are you-"

"Just answer the question," I snapped.

"No, I-"

"Don't believe in anything you can't see, got it, just checkin'. Well, for this, yer gonna have to be real damn open minded. I need ya' ta' believe in them, Shinigami too."

We finally made it to the bedroom and pushed inside. I stumbled away from Ichigo, some feeling coming back into my legs. My hands reached for the dresser and I tore it open in a desperate search fuelled by a very slim hope. I heard Ichigo sit down on the bed, could feel his eyes watching me.

I continued on speaking as I tore through the drawers. "Kay, see there are two types of ghosts, or souls we'll call it. The first types are called Wholes; they're just the regular everyday kind of souls, those who die will become this type first. The second types are Hollows. Ya' got that so far?"

I didn't bother to check for any confirmation from Ichigo. I abandoned my search through the drawers and moved to the shelves. "Then there are the Shinigami. They come from place called Soul Society and they're job is to help guide the wholes there by giving them a Konso-a soul burial- and to kill Hollows."

My search slowed. I took a deep breath and released it. Sure, this Ichigo didn't have all the information but neither had the last one. I thought he'd be able to figure it out on his own. He didn't have a problem with the mask and he knew _someone _was watching out for his sorry ass, but when I actually got the chance to truly help him_,_ he freaked. I suppose I should've clarified a bit more to this Ichigo but…what good would it do me, honestly?

"Well, here's the thing; I'm a Hollow."

Part of me tensed for the eruption, awaited its wrath to come crashing down like cold rain but there was nothing. Silence. Just like that, he knew and nothing happened. Now if I had said that to King, prior to his freak out, I would've gotten…well, a freak out. '_You monster, disappear! I don't need you! Go away!'_

Nothing but bittersweet, silence. Just like the inner world.

Ichigo spoke carefully, as if afraid I'd lost what little shred of sanity I'd had left. "Shiro, you realise that was just your dream right? None of that was real…" I don't think there is anyway anyone could begin to comprehend the feeling that came with that reaction. Relief didn't even compare.

I smiled. Not the crazy shit-eating grin I normally wore, or the angry sardonic smirk that I reserved especially for the King, no, I actually smiled. How fucking long had it been since I'd done that? An admittedly unstable sounding laugh escaped from my upturned lips.

"See that's what I was_ almost_ thinkin' but yer buddy Urahara? He knew what I was before he even showed up here today. He sensed what I was. I think it's fair for me ta' assume by now that this place is exactly the same as where I came from with a few…" I paused to grin over at Ichigo, "exceptions."

"Shiro…" Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed deeper and this time I could see the honest worry in his eyes that I might not be okay in the head. The bronze orbs were clearly pleading for me to give them a 'just joking'. The warmth surrounding him seemed to swirl uncertainly in the air but it hadn't become hostile.

I smiled warmly at him. "Do ya' trust me, _aibou_?"

I noted his stabbed-in-the-foot expression but was too excited to really feel sorry about it; I knew what his answer was already. This Ichigo had no reason not to trust me-at least, not that he knew of. He frowned angrily, frustrated that I was forcing answer out of him like this.

He crossed his arms in frustration. "I don't really have a choice do I?"

"Ya' know, it's nice yer finally seein' it my way," I grinned. He grunted and I snickered, turning back to the shelf. "But…if I can't find anythin' ta' help me it might not make a difference…"

"What're you even looking for?" Ichigo grumbled, his curiosity getting the better of him. He walked over to the shelf and scanned it over.

"I thought maybe your brother might've been able to see spirits and that _maybe_ he might have something that I could use…" _God forbid a shinigami deputy badge. I think I would die from the irony alone._

"You want to fight them?!" Ichigo burst in disbelief. "You say these guys, are bloody death gods, who spend all of their time killing people…er, hollows, and you want to fight them?!"

I blinked at him. "Well…yeah."

"Ignoring the fact that this story was completely insane in the first place, are you nuts!?" Ichigo shouted.

"Relax," I purred. "Hollows are _made_ for fighting. It's what they live for. And I'm a bit of a special kind of hollow anyway. Trust me, Ichigo; they won't kill me, at least, not if I can find what I'm looking for first." I turned onto the desk, knelt onto the floor and began to search through the top drawer. Ichigo sat down beside me.

"How can you possibly be this hollow thing anyway? I thought you said these guys were already dead. You're not dead. And if Shinigami kill hollows wouldn't that mean they die twice? Your story doesn't add up."

I was over the moon but I had to be careful. No fucking way was I gonna be caught off guard like I'd been with the vizards that one time.

"I already told ya', I'm a special kind of hollow. And yes, you can die twice. In fact, if you're anything like me or the you I used to know, you can technically die more than twice," I lamented with frown. "Of course, it's not good to push it…which for some reason you liked to do all the time…trying to kill us all…fucking bastard…"

"_Right_…so can you at least tell me what the thing looks like, this thing you're looking for that's supposedly gonna help you?" Ichigo huffed, leaning forward to try and peer into the desk drawer.

"You might not be able to see it. Depends what it is," I said. From the corner of my eye I watched him run a hand through his tousled orange strands. He was frustrated, I could bet he hated not being able to do anything but watch (which really isn't fair to me, you know, King). He appeared to be using his questions to keep himself calm, an interesting habit he seemed to be developing.

"So what does it do? How's this thing supposed to help you, exactly?"

"It'll knock my soul out of this body."

"What!? Are you trying to _kill _yourself?! You really have gone suicidal!" Ichigo sputtered wildly. I brought my hands up beside my head in defensive motion.

"Now slow down, _aibou_," I laughed lightly, to calm down the charging bull in his eyes. "It's not permanent! It just knocks my soul out_ temporarily. _And it's not hard to get back inside a body; you did it all the time!"

I could see him clenching and unclenching his teeth in attempt to hold back the 'it was just a _dream_' comment I knew he wanted to say next.

"Careful Ichigo, don't wanna give yourself an aneurysm," I snickered. After several minutes of laughing at my twin as he attempted not tear out all his hair, taking deep, concentrated breaths, I had searched through all the desk drawers. When I asked, Ichigo said that I-meaning his brother- had no other hiding places he knew of where he might keep something that would remove a soul. Obviously. So naturally, I started pacing.

"So did you find anything?" Ichigo asked rather smugly, likely thinking that this proved what I was looking for didn't exist.

I shook my head. "Nope."

"So what're you going to do?" Ichigo questioned, more seriously now that I'd shown him that I still believed it was real.

"You sound like Zangetsu. I only have one option."

"And that is…?"

"Seriously, Ichigo, you're creepin' me out. It's obvious isn't it? I gotta go steal somethin' from Urahara's."

"Ah…why don't you just run at a wall really fast instead? That'll knock you out and be about just as effective as _your_ idea," Ichigo proposed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hardy-har-har, you're frickin' hilarious," I snapped, equally as sarcastic. After a couple more minutes I groaned and collapsed onto the bed, beside Ichigo, where he'd moved to from the floor. The room fell silent again.

I closed my eyes focused on the feeling of the heart beating in my chest. The stolen heart that belonged to Ichigo's brother. When I became a hollow I never thought I'd get the chance feel such a thing again. Ichigo's heart didn't beat for me when I claimed control. I didn't even think about missing it to be honest. What was gonna happen when I found my way back and I lost this again?

Well, I thought cynically, I'd find out soon if I was gonna escape from this useless body. _Looks like I really am off to the Shoten. Oh sweet memories._

Problem was; could I do it? I would have to sneak in. There was no way I would be able to avoid being caught but at the very least I could by myself some time. Hiding my spiritual pressure would be a must- something I'd never tried to do before (Why would I? Who're you gonna intimidate by hiding all your power?). Hell, I didn't pay attention to that either. On one side I had a lot of spiritual pressure and hiding _all of it _was probably easier said than done, on the flip side since I was here with no King and that essentially cut my spiritual pressure in half considering his spiritual pressure was my spiritual pressure and vice-versa.

Thank god I was a vizard and not a regular hollow like I'd first thought once upon a time. Being a vizard meant I still had a sliver of Shinigami in me and without that, hiding spiritual pressure would be a no go. I rather liked my abilities as a vizard. I mean, being able to use bankai? That was just awesome. And whether in my true form or not, what would I do without Zangetsu?

Which reminded me; I had no Zangetsu. I frowned at that. I needed a sword. I needed _my_ sword. I'd never fought unarmed before, mostly because I knew I would never be stupid enough to lose the precious katana form of Zangetsu. And then, since Zangetsu and I were one and the same it would be rather impossible; how do you lose _yourself?_ I'd have to chance it on that too. Either I'd have the blade with me and I'd represent the spirit of it on my own or I was sword-less and I would rely on my body. At least I could heal.

Actually, this might've been easier than I was making it out to be. I had no time limit this time, I didn't have to multi-task by fighting with Ichigo in the inner world and more importantly no one was gonna break me this time. Just the thought alone made me lick my lips in happiness. No more shattering mask. How…lovely.

So once I found something I could use, maybe a glove like Rukia had or a Gikongan, I was home free. Urahara wouldn't even be able to use that needle shit on me again because the high speed regeneration would completely remove it from my system. I still had to wonder what the pills did though. Whatever, as long as they didn't catch me before that or my body didn't fail on me like this morning.

I sprung forward suddenly and Ichigo jumped in surprise. I laughed at the sudden flood of nostalgia at the familiar action, enjoying the fact that I could actually see the expression on his face as he tried to cover up his surprise this time around.

"Where are you going?" He asked partially to cover up my surprising him and partially because he was getting worried again.

I rolled my eyes. "To get the damn crackers, what did you think? I haven' eaten all day."

"Right, of course you'd be hungry," Ichigo sighed, relaxing.

"Aren't I always?" I amended, noting at the irony of how literal that statement was soon to be. "That's what you told me anyway."

Ichigo laughed. "Yeah, that's true."

I grinned reassuringly and closed the door to Mashiro Kurosaki's room slowly behind me, then, without a second thought, bolted it for the Shoten. The place of my 'birth' as a hollow.

* * *

-

-

-

-

Rukia Kuchiki was, to say the least, frustrated. First off the crazy shop manager who had left her with the task of watching over the very shop _he_ was supposed to be in charge of managing, had vanished once again. Likely this was because her second issue of needing him to answer some of her very important questions surrounding the odd, scarily huge, and confusing spiritual pressure she'd been sensing since she'd arrived this afternoon. Leave it to him to disappear when he was actually needed. Then there was the fact that she was supposed to be doing her job but, oh no, apparently that wasn't a problem because he already had "someone" "taking care of it".

Maybe it was that what she really wanted to be doing was to be visiting her friend. She hadn't seen him since she'd left not even a month ago. It took so much convincing for her to be allowed to come back to the material world when there was suddenly no more need to investigate the reihei disturbances. It only worked because the reihei disturbances had gradually begun to come back over the month of her absence in the same way they had appeared the first time. What she would've done if they had chosen to send someone else she didn't know. The fact that her friend had been what seemed to be the source of the disturbances didn't help her stress level.

She'd even made a card for him upon finding out from, again, Urahara, that he'd gone into a coma. She'd drawn it herself taking great pride in the group of cheerful woodland creatures and the elaborately coloured 'get-well' banner they were holding up. It was possible that she could've helped him, maybe giving him a Konso him if his chain of fate had been cut or if he was just stuck outside his body for some reason she could help him get back inside it. Of course, not without making fun of him for getting stuck first. Still …she wondered if he was okay.

The moment Urahara came back, she decided, she would go and visit him. Though she'd have to be able to find him first and at this rate that might've been impossible. The colossal amount of energy she was sensing over threw any chance of her picking up the faint trace of her friend's spiritual pressure. She'd promised to wait until Urahara came back, and he claimed that 'whatever the source of it was' was not doing anything as of yet, nor was it coming up on her pager from soul society. She could only assume by the way Urahara had been acting that he was watching over 'whatever it was'.

She closed her eyes and pressed the side of her hand to her forehead in concentration. What _was_ it though? The spiritual pressure it gave off…? It was so mixed up. It seemed to be predominately hollow, but it also appeared to have something else mixed in, maybe Shinigami, maybe even human, or perhaps something different entirely. She couldn't tell. Not only was it strange and clearly enormous but it also seemed…suppressed? No, that wasn't quite the word. Either some other force was covering it up or it was being fed in some way-to where or to what, she didn't know. It made her feel uneasy.

She twisted to reach for the manga she'd burrowed from Ururu and Jinta's room earlier that evening, and buried herself into the plot in attempt to try and calm her nerves. That was one of the good things about the material world. Distractions were so easy to find.

"_Oh Francoise, how could you betray me so?"_

"_I did nothing of the sort! The jade box that mother left was for us both all along, but who are you to blame me for something caused by you? _You_ betrayed _me!_"_

"_Then why, sister? Why? You did not have to open it. Oh Francoise, what did you do?"_

"I can't believe you're still reading those shitty mangas," A disdained voice purred over her shoulder. Rukia let out a startled gasp and whirled around. Her gloved hand automatically shot out as she prepared to remove her gigai but was caught by the assailant before her. Her eyes widened in recognition and then narrowed dangerously.

"Renji, in case you were wondering I am studying this world's contemporary vernacular," Rukia responded in a calm voice, though the threatening undertone was not missed by the red-haired man who rather liked keeping his balls from being stomped on. He let Rukia go taking a slight nearly imperceptible step backwards.

"Something you could do as well," the female shinigami grumbled under her breath, sitting back down on the small ledge that opened up to the rest of the store.

"Sure, I'll do that," Renji muttered derisively, with a roll of his eyes. His face became suddenly serious.

"Rukia…I don't like this. We shouldn't just be sitting here doing nothing. We should be finding out what the heck that spiritual pressure was."

Rukia raised an eyebrow at her childhood friend and frowned. "When have you been so concerned about what we should and shouldn't be doing?"

"Since when have you not?!" The red-head lashed back.

"Look," he growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I just feel like there's something off about it."

"It's not a hollow. It hasn't shown up at all on the soul pager."

Renji scowled toward the wall, and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "It sure as hell felt like one," he mumbled just loud enough for the female shinigami to hear him. Rukia couldn't argue. The manga she'd been reading, forgotten and strewn off to the side, Rukia found herself staring down at the blank soul pager as if looking at it long enough would sound off an alert and she'd have no choice but to go after _it_.

After a moment's silence, something in her mind clicked, her eyebrows scrunched together in uncertainty. "Hey, Renji? You just said it 'felt' like a hollow, you keep using past-tense. When did the spiritual pressure vanish?"

"A couple minutes ago, before I came out to check on you," He answered. It was at the precise moment that Renji's words made their way to her ears, Rukia's eyes lifted up to the shadow just outside the front doors of the shoten, and then widened.

The shinigami leapt up from her spot with a curse and knocked her gloved hand into her friend forcing him out of Gigai and into a stand. She spun to face the doors again and pressed the glove against her chest. The false bodies landed with a thud, both shinigami straightened and grasped the hilts of their swords and the door clicked open. Rukia gasped.

"Well whadya' know, it's you two," a creepy high pitched voice snickered. _Giggled, giggled was more like it, _Renji thought disdainfully. But of course, his closest friend seemed to think something else entirely. A strange, grinning albino teen entered the darkened room. "Long time no see."

Rukia spluttered. "Sh-Shiro, you're…"

Renji almost snorted when he heard the name. _How fitting._ It was familiar though…was this the name Rukia had mentioned? The name of that weird kid…? If that was the case then that meant…

Renji's eyes narrowed, and traveled up the teens figure as he stepped closer toward them and out of the faint shadow. A small jolt passed through him when the faint light caught his eyes and Renji was hit with the practically fluorescent yellow irises set in the two black pools where the whites should've been. Images of deadly predators flashed through his mind before he shook his head. So it was true. It was far more disturbing than he originally thought it'd be; a human with the eyes of a hollow. He grimaced. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he'd wipe that damn grin off his face, and while he was at it, stop looking at Rukia in that way. No…it wasn't that. There was something more, something that had his instincts alight with fire.

"Shiro…! I thought…I thought you were in a coma!" Rukia cried, unable to hide both her joy and her rising irritation-though it wasn't like he could've told her he'd woken up earlier.

There it was again, a click, a churning of gears behind the garish yellow orbs and the too large grin. Impossibly, the grin widened. There was something very off. In the way he moved, fingers twitching…Was it only Renji who could see the way he circled the two of them?

"So that's what everyone keeps tellin' me," He laughed. Renji gripped the hilt of Zabimaru tightly.

He was purposefully making eye contact with only Rukia. Renji _knew_ something was off dammit, but what was it?

Shiro had made his way over to the ledge and was looking down on the discarded Gigai's with mild interest, both hands shoved into his pockets. He leant down and grabbed the gloved hand of Rukia's gigai and gently pulled the glove off with one hand. Her smile faded slightly.

"Shiro?" A question. The person in question grinned up at her.

"Shiro what's with you? Is something…?" His eyes didn't meet hers this time. They looked right over her head. Absently he tugged the glove-apparently one size fits all?- onto his own hand, but his eyes kept on moving. It finally hit Renji when the eyes stopped on him, and the tight lipped grin, burst.

"Renji!" Rukia screamed, but was unheard as at the same moment her reckless childhood companion dove at her new human friend, she was blasted back by a surge of spiritual pressure. Two forms, white and red, crashed through the front doors of the shoten and tumbled out onto the moonlit pavement. Rukia's flash step was the only thing that allowed her to catch the second white form that had been left behind; the body of her human friend. She caught sight of the first white form and the red just ahead of her.

Her stomach clenched in horror-_because her friends were attacking each other? Because the human one's soul had just been separated from his body? Because he might not have been as human as she first thought?_ It could've been any of those things. But more likely it was for what she was about to witness next.

Red and black flew past her and into the wall of the now ruined store at the moment she set down the white body. Her body jerked toward her friend-_Which one? Oh yes, Renji, right_- and she flashed to his side.

"Renji!" she called, grabbing the shoulder of her friend who groaned in pain, and forcing him to at least get on his knees instead of lying in the rubble. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was sure she noticed that for the first time, maybe since she'd know him, the band holding his hair together had broken, causing all the red to fall down over his face and around his shoulders. How was she supposed to see if his head was bleeding with all that hair in the way-and red too!

Renji winced and shook his head and then stole a quick glance at _his_ friend. "Rukia, he's the thing! The source of all that crazy-" And then the screaming started.

Rukia tore her gaze away as the horrid sound filled her ears. The white form-Shiro was doubled over and screaming in an agony she had never witnessed nor heard in all her years as a shinigami. It took her a second to take in the white attire he certainly hadn't been wearing when he'd showed up; a shinigami uniform of inverse colours. She should've been running out to her friend but she couldn't move. Renji's hand was on her shoulder now but she didn't think she would've been capable of moving otherwise; she was petrified.

The scream became gargled and they-Renji and her- watched in morbid fascination as a white pus-like liquid spilt onto the pavement just underneath the teen's chest. She swore that she heard bones crack when suddenly five white spikes ruptured from his back and shoulders, and then repeated the same process on his other side, tearing the white shinigami haori to shreds. The destroyed fabric fell away and the albino boy threw his head and upper body back and released another even more inhuman scream to merge into the previous one as his back arched and, quite literally, burst.

A large, blood dipped tail, grew out from the boy's spine and twitched as the snow coloured hair that grew out from his head began to reach the tail's beginning, trailing it. More bones cracked and snapped, rearranging themselves, causing him to fall back onto his hands and knees, and with his screaming becoming a low growling. The skin on his exposed white arms seemed to simmer and then light, a new pattern of blood swirls forming down to his hands which had become elongated by the sharp claws that grew from each finger. A similar process became of his feet and ankles, ripping up the ends of his hakama. A final bone chilling scream ripped through the air and Rukia, unable to watch any more of the horrid transformation her friend was going through shielded her face in the chest of her fellow shinigami. Only one more sickening crack followed and it was over.

The pure energy of the transformation had stirred the wind, picking up dust and the various pieces of debris the lay around the shop. Their ears took a moment to adjust to the quieter sounds of the world around, the world of those outside the knowledge of shinigami and hollows. Rukia could kind of make out panting coming in the direction of the hol-_no_, not again, her friend had not just become a hollow. Her eyes would not go back to their regular size, her heart would not stop racing, trying to rip through her chest. She forced herself to turn regardless.

"Bakudo 99! Kin-restrict!"

"No! Don't kill him!" Rukia screeched, yanking away from Renji and running toward snarling white form. Almost as soon as she had, she came skidding to a stop when the formerly missing shopkeeper appeared in front of her.

"Kuchiki-san I'm going to request that you stay back," he said, though it was clear that it was not a request but a command. Not far behind him Tessai Tsukabishi began to chant the incantation for another impossibly high level kido. She couldn't see Shiro's face, the long tresses of white hair had hidden it away, but she could see the rest of him, the disjointed clawed feet, the thrashing tail-would she even have been able to see his face anyway hidden under a mask? Renji, like Rukia, had also never seen a hollowfication quite like this.

He had fallen forward thanks to the kido binding his arms, but was now climbing back up onto his feet using his tail for balance and attempting to break the level 99 bakudo. The pegs that had imbedded into his arms shot out and the binds began to tear.

Renji choked on the name of his friend, Rukia choked on the name of hers.

"Boy, oh, boy, what do we have here?" A new voice called down. The two bewildered shinigami looked up to see two very different and unusual men. One was a slim, lanky blonde, hair cut like that of a page boy, eyes narrowed, eyebrows raised and a fiendish grin stretched across his face. The other was a large man-larger than either shinigami had ever seen with only the exceptions of the gate keeper giants back in soul society-wearing a mint green tuxedo with an offsetting yellow bowtie, made to look even stranger with his pink hair having a black pattern of crossbones. Unlike the first man, the expression he wore was a solemn one.

The blonde man became suddenly serious and turned onto his companion. "Hachi."

The man named Hachi seemed to take that as a command and nodded. "Hai."

A familiar orange glow enveloped the hollow and it let out a furious scream, collapsing back to the ground. It lifted it's gaze up to see a hand appear before it's face and it grimaced, already knowing what effect the kido would have.

There was a flash and the hollow stopped twitching. Rukia fell back against the red-head that had moved forward to catch her. Both shinigami stared at the scene before them. They had come to the world of the living on a mission to investigate the reihei disturbances and for the usual task of defeating hollows, something that wouldn't have normally made much an interesting report back at soul society. But _this_, Renji noted grimly, _this_ was going to mean _a lot_ of paperwork.

* * *

**List of things I will try to explain next chapter: 1) what is so different about Shiro's hollowfication and why? 2) What was the pill that Urahara gave to Shiro in chapter five and what did it do? 3) What was causing his body to be so weak? And hopefully much more!**

**Okay, has everyone seen the new Bleach anime fillers? I cannot believe I'm saying this about the fillers, let alone _Bleach_ fillers, but they are absolutely amazing! Holy freaking shitake mushrooms! I ended up deafening my family two weeks in a row! Graaaaaahhh, if you have not seen them, whether because you haven't been keeping up, you hate the anime, or because of some other reason, then watch them nooooows! *cough* Well, moving on now.**

**I was really worried about getting Rukia's character right with this chapter. I'm not really sure how to write her because she's both a soft and rough character so she tends to give me a hard time. Falling into Renji's character was both unexpected and surprisingly easy though I'm not really sure how to write him either. This chapter really flowed for me and got even more fun by then end. I'm really proud of this one. The only thing I wish is that I didn't keep ending the chapters the same way.**

**Now before you ask about the crackers; Ichigo was bringing him some food that 1) he didn't have to cook, 2) that is a good kind of food to give to someone who's sick, and 3) that Shiro could eat with his hands. Plus, since you can't eat crackers fast it would force him to slow down which pisses Shiro off and gives Ichigo a few good laughs. (Not to mention I really just wanted to write about a fuckload of crackers. Those exact words.)**

**And one final note; _aibou_ means 'partner'. I decided to switch to the Japanese word for it because it sounded less formal and more fitting to what it actually entails (personally I feel the word 'partner' has been brutally destroyed by the hundreds of old 'Wild West' TV shows and movies that used it to death).**

**Now it's review response time! I know you guys have a lot of questions you want answered but bear with me okay? I'll have the story answer them all eventually but it will take time. Feel free to ask away all you want however! (It lets me know what people want to know most and what needs to be gone over.) To makes some amends to you guys with the cliffies, next chapter I'll be trying extra hard to answer some of the questions you have, promise.**

**SendMoreParamedics: **Your review made me laugh. I guess I did kinda accidentally push you all off the edge of the cliff but hey! Shiro said cliff diving was fun so… *dodges onslaught of rotten vegetables* Well, thank you, your enthusiastic reviews make me grin.

**TealEyedBeing: **I'm sorry for hurting your brain! And just after giving you some explanations last chapter I throw the wrench in the tire! Hopefully I didn't hurt your brain too much. I'm glad you still like the story. (I was afraid people would get into last chapter and be like "Wut? That's it, I'm leaving" but you guys are so _loyal_! I want to glomp all of you! ^.^)

**Barranca: **Yes, it was nice, but I'm too evil to let that happen :D . It's all a matter of if he believes Shiro or not and what Shiro is willing to tell him. At the moment he just thinks his brother is crazy. XD I love your reactions; they make me wish I could write this, temporarily forget all about it, read it, and see my own reactions. XD Thank you for the always in-depth reviews.

**Wild Dragon's breath: **I did, you're right. That seems to be the consensus with everyone else too. I was going to write more after but, like I said, I got too impatient. Plus the original idea was for at least ten pages in length, I had planned it out for the certain amount of pages per day but I missed a day and I wouldn't have been able to finish it on time like I wanted. I'd say I'll never do another cliff hanger like that again but I'm not gonna make any promises mostly because I'm evil and I don't know how to end a chapter without them. XD

**Yays4pie: **Oh no, sorry, that must've been confusing; Urahara doesn't remember anything, he was just able to sense that Shiro is a hollow. This may leave you with more questions but I'll try and answer them all eventually. Thank you for asking. It's good to know people are interested enough to ask questions. Hopefully not too many though. ^^;

**gadzooks97: **Nuuuuuuu! Don't die!!! If you die then who will I torture with more cliffies? JK, JK… Well not about the not dying part. Erm…oh dear…

**HollowLover13: ***Shiny eyes* Seriously? For real? One of the best? OMG I love you! *glomps you to death* Thank you for such complimentary review!

**Asuki-chan: **I.......I have never got a review that has made me so happy...I just clicked on my inbox, opened up the e-mail, and my jaw dropped as various strangled squeaks came out of me. Your review seriously made me want to cry, I was so happy. I've always worried about my writing being up to par. There never is anyway to tell right? But your review....you've just given me so much confidence as a writer. Writing's the only thing I've ever really wanted to do with my life so to hear that someone liked something of mine _that much..._it blows me away. Your E-mail address didn't show up in your review so you don't have to worry about people seeing it, however I removed your reviews like you asked (even though I loved them so much I saved them onto my hard drive!). I cannot thank you enough for such a wonderful review. The fact that it was so long made it even better.

I tend to see Shiro (Hichigo) different than a lot of the fandom. I find him to be highly misunderstood (by Ichigo, by the other characters in the series, by the fandom, everyone) and his very existence seems so unlucky it's ridiculous. To say the least, he's my favourite character and I've practically studied the guy (LOL, obsessed much?). But you can be sure that I know what you mean when you say you're addicted. ^^

I will definitely try not to make people wait two years for an update (O.O goodness that would be evil). I wish I could whip out a chapter each week but alas, life eats me and I get stuck. I generally update as soon as I finish writing the chapter though. If you want to know when I update I suppose you would have to get a fanfiction account and click on the story alert button (it's at the bottom left of the review button and chapter selection). As for giving answers; I will do what I can! I'll try to answer any questions you put in the review into my responses if I cannot just answer them with the story. If you want to see more of my stuff just click my pen-name in the top corner. Unfortunately I haven't written much else, just four oneshots for a HichiHime thread on FLOL. They're written in a completely different style than this peice and don't present Shiro the same way he is in this fic (just because the people I was writing for/with are unaccustomed to a 'redeemable' Shiro, sadly enough, and I'm little bit of a people pleaser) but I hope they'll be okay. Thank you again, so much, for your review. It was great, rocked my socks, actually. I hope that you'll continue to read this and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed your review. Thanks. ^^

**Kai-Chan94: **Thanks for reviewing. I hope you like this chapter just as much.

**Michiyo: **To answer you're question; no, Shiro was just making a joke that it was probably Ichigo attempting to kill him that caused his brother to go into a coma ( a sort of 'yeah, right' comment to Ichigo's previous statement that he was in the hospital with Shiro the whole time.). But unfortunately it turned out to be a rather close guess because Ichigo blames himself for Shiro going into a coma, and Shiro thinking it as nothing more than an innocent tease ended up reminding Ichigo of that and bringing up his guilt. Shiro never expected this because having Ichigo care for him-even another person who is essentially the same as him- is an incredibly new concept in his mind so he habitually thought that the idea of Ichigo staying with him the whole time he was in the hospital to watch over him was a lie. That part was rather ambiguous so I'm glad you asked that question. I will go into more detail on that part later in the story.

I must say, people who make the effort to read things in languages that aren't their first impress me a great deal. That takes quite a bit of dedication I believe, so I compliment you. Thank you for taking the time to review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story even with its cliff-hangers. (By the way, a cliff hanger is when the story or chapter stops at the point of a climax or that creates a question left to be answered in the next part. They're meant to build anticipation in the reader so that they'll want to read the next part. I hope that helps to explain them.) ^^

**ShiroIchiFan2009: **You people make me feel so awesome! I'm so happy you like the story so far! Thank you for reviewing. 3

**Klecks: **Thank you, I'm glad you're liking it. I think I might go for no pairings simply because then I can make it anyway I want (I'm sure some could easily squint and say this chapter had RenRuki in it even though I'm only writing them as friends in this.) and I won't have to worry about people disliking the pairing. If you wanted to read a HichiHime story I have four other one shots and plan to do a full length story after I finish with this one. Thanks for the fave and the review. ^^

**Until the next chapter! Enjoy! Pleeeeeeaaaase Review!**


	7. Coalescence

_._

_._

_._

_._

'_I loved my mother._

_I never saw her cry or get mad._

_Not even once._

_Parent's moods have a big effect on their kids._

_I think she knew that._

_Whatever happened to me, if I was with her I was okay…_

_Not just me. Yuzu and Karin who were four at the time…and Dad…all loved her as much as I did._

_She was the center of our universe._

_I didn't see it at the time it was actually happening, but that axis in my world was slowly tilting._

_Maybe that was a lie, that I never saw her cry._

_Just once…I saw her cry just once._

_There were no tears on her face, she wasn't even frowning, but somewhere inside me I knew…_

_She was crying.' _

_-_

_-_

_-_

"_Happy birthday Ichigo!"_

_Ichigo was hoisted up onto the chair so he could see the bright red and blue frosted cake. In its center a wax number six stood tall with a smaller number fifteen burning brightly behind, to play on his name. He wasn't really fifteen; he was six, that's what the six was for._

"_BIRHTDAY BEATS!!!" _

_And considering his mean old Dad that was probably a good thing too._

"_Isshin!" his mother cried out in protest, a smile still on her face and unable to contain the warm laughter after her six year old son managed to duck, jump down onto the floor, tie his father's shoes together and subsequently trip him when he ran away._

"_Oh, son! Do you not love your father?! Why, son, why?!" The man wailed as Ichigo ran back to his mother and hugged her leg. "But I see you have also improved…! I have nothing left to teach you…" _

_Ichigo's father slumped on the floor with that but Ichigo highly doubted having nothing left to teach him would stop his crazy dad any. With a giggle his mother seemed to agree._

_It was a wonder his baby sisters hadn't woken up and started crying yet._

_He was lifted back up and Ichigo stared down at the three beautiful flickering flames. Like the people in his family; Mom, Dad, Yuzu, Karin. Like tiny stars… _

_Yes, people wished on stars…_

"_Make a wish Ichigo," His mother told him in her melodic voice. She always talked like she was singing a song to him. It made him happy. _

"_Mommy…?"_

"_Yes Ichigo?"_

"_Is there something that you wish for mommy?" _

_And that's when he realised he had made her cry. _

_His first thought was that he shouldn't have asked that question. Then he shook his head because then that would mean he was being selfish, his job was to protect her not himself. His ugly monster of guilt threatened to come alive and devour him. He surely deserved it. If his mother was sad then what he had to do was to protect her from that sadness not run away from it. The only way he could do that though was to know what caused it. It was too late for him to turn back._

"_Mom...my?"_

"…_ah, I'm sorry honey, Mommy's just thinking…"_

_A hand came down on her shoulder and both mother and child looked up to see Isshin staring down. He wore a grave expression Ichigo had only seen on the bad days with the clinic. His eyes met with his Ichigo's mother's. _

"_Masaki…we should…tell him now…I think…"_

_._

_._

_._

"_We were told that your brother died just after he was born. We never _really_ got the chance to see him…people were being rushed about…He…"_

"_Somehow or other, he went missing. We looked all over and had investigators come in, but we never found him." _

"_We had no pictures to search for him, and we had no body to give him a grave."_

"_We…weren't sure when best to tell you but…Masaki convinced me a long time ago that you deserved to know about your brother." The said woman smiled softly up at her husband._

_There was a cold silence. That was the only way Ichigo could describe it. _

_Ichigo stared down at his knees, something in his brain not connecting to what his father was saying. In his head he could only see his mother's crying eyes. Ichigo's fist clenched._

"…_Does… Mommy wish…for him back?"_

_Isshin's eyes ran over his son, sadly. "…Ichigo…"_

_His mother smiled and closed her eyes hiding her tears. "I'm just happy I have you, Ichigo. The only thing I want is for you to grow up and be happy. That's all I wish for."_

_Ichigo's eyes met his mother's with a determined frown. The young six year old turned and ran back to the kitchen table. He climbed up onto the chair on his own, ignoring his parents. When he straightened, his eyes found the forgotten birthday cake and he let the breath he'd been holding slip out as his stomach dropped._

_The candles had already burnt out. _

_He'd seen the wish in his mother's eyes but it was too late now. He couldn't make the wish._

'_I wish Mommy could have my brother back…'_

_Ichigo bit the inside of his lip. And brought his hands up to his eyes to try and push back the tears that he felt where coming. His throat closed up painfully and Ichigo whimpered. To him, his tears were monsters bigger monsters than his guilt. They sang all his failures in his ears and slowly crushed him in their claws. He couldn't fight them. The more he tried the tighter they squeezed him, the louder they spoke. He had no chance against them and they beat the child down as he cried. Ichigo shook his head harshly. At the very least he had to be strong for Mommy. He had to…he had to be happy…he had to make her happy… the tears came anyway but he wouldn't let her hear him. _

_Ichigo slid down in the chair, keeping his back turned to his family. He hiccupped and cried. Why was he crying? He didn't know who the boy they called his brother was. He wasn't one of those kids that got upset because they got all sisters instead of brothers or any of that silly stuff. He felt nothing for this boy._ But his mother did.

_That was why. Because he'd seen her crying. That's why he was upset. Maybe…maybe he could make her feel better. He could try and make up for it. He could protect her just like he'd always wanted to._

_But first…"Mom-my…w-what was his n-name?"_

_He felt two arms pull him up and wrap around him. Not wanting them to see his face, he buried his head into the shoulder of the one who held him. "…His name was-"_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

"I hope Ichi-nii-chan and Shiro-nii-chan are okay…" Yuzu mumbled worriedly, gripping the bag of food they'd ordered for the mentioned brothers as she stepped out of the car. Karin followed beside her with her hands behind her head, a satisfied smile on her face though her eyes were contemplative.

"I'm sure they're fine," she dismissed. "I just can't believe neither of them told me about that _car._"

"Is that all you care about Karin? Is that the only reason you came to dinner? To ride in Tensa-san's car?" Yuzu cried.

Karin shrugged. "What can I say? The old man's got style." If either girl had looked behind them they would've noticed the old man smirk ever so subtly. Yuzu's hand came to reach around the handle of the front door and she turned it open with a click.

"Ichi-nii-chan, Shiro-nii-chan, we're ba-"

"SHIRO!"

The two twin sisters jumped as their older brother slid in front of them from around the corner. His eyes were wide with distress and his eyebrows had managed to squash his even closer together than they already were. The panicked teen took in the sight of the returning group, spun on his heel and entangled his hands in his spiked orange hair.

Yuzu sprung into action. "O-Onii-chan, what happened!? What's wrong!? Where is Shiro-nii-chan?"

Ichigo couldn't speak for several moments and the sisters felt a sinking inside them as they took him in. He choked, trying to form a response, covering his face with his hand, completely unaware that his own nails were digging into his skin. They could see his clenched teeth and the two sisters recognized the choking pain he was trying to hold back, feeling it prepare to try and burst in themselves. Finally he lifted his hand away, placing it onto his hip. He spoke through gritted teeth. "The bastard took off on me…"

Yuzu gasped and brought a hand up to her mouth while Karin's and Zangetsu's eyes widened. Ichigo moved to let the group inside, and paced off to the side while the group settled in. Zangetsu quickly stormed off to the clinic room and Yuzu ran off to throw the bag of food on the counter and follow after the man. Thankful her sister was out of earshot, Karin turned on her brother.

She paused for a moment, thinking how to word her question in a way that wouldn't cause her brother to go berserk or fall apart. Her brother was so fragile in that sense, though she would never tell it to his face. That would only cause him to crumble faster.

"…Ichi-nii…do you think…it could've been…?" She trailed off but Ichigo understood. He shook his head, as if to shake away a bad memory.

"I don't know," he groaned. "I don't know where he went or why he would've-" He cut off sharply and his eyes widened in shock and realisation.

"_Dammit!_"

"Ichi-nii!?"

Karin went unheard-her brother had already flown out the door.

.

.

.

.

Rukia's heart pounded loudly in her ears. Her mouth moved slowly, trying desperately to from the name that refused to leave her lips. Questions spun though her mind, moving too fast to allow her to ponder on just one. How had this happened? What had Shiro…? What had happened to him in the month she was gone? Was this even Shiro? Or-the most disturbing question-, _was this the something he had been all along?_

Rukia's throat tightened and her fists clenched. Had her faith in the snowy haired albino boy wavered in the month she'd been gone? Could it be that she'd never been as close to him as she first thought, thinking she knew him when really she'd only peered through the crack of his broken exterior and had unwittingly found another layer of falseness? Was the boy-because that was what he truly was, a boy- nothing more than a bunch of collective shells and masks compiled together to cover the…complete nothing, the hollow within? Did she really believe he was a hollow now?

_Well, wasn't he?_

Rukia mentally cringed at the thought. _This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening._

_Not again…_

She felt as if she had disappeared into nothing as she watched her friend-he was still her friend…at least until she was sure- be hauled up off the ground by the large man in green. The limp, white, red-tipped tail dragged along the ground until the man draped him completely over his shoulder- though even then the tail still trailed. If she spoke up now and ran in front of the group of four-Urahara, Tessai, the creepy blonde, and the pink-haired man- would they even realise she was there?

"So Kisuke, got any plans on what we're gonna do? It'll break out of that kido in a matter of minutes once it wakes up and we don't have any other way of keeping it from attacking long enough so that you can ask them questions of yours and finally tell us what's going on here. At least, not without killin' it."

The shop manager hid his face from behind his fan, thinking, then turned over to the two forgotten shinigami, staring off from the side. "Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san, may I ask that one of you bring the body of Kurosaki Mashiro with us to the underground training room?"

The two shinigami jolted at the address of their names. Rukia's still wide violets turned to the body and, wordlessly she walked over to it. Renji stepped in front and picked up the body in the same fashion as Hachi and nodded solemnly down at his nakama who could only stare wide-eyed.

The shop manager walked forward into the shop but turned his head slightly back so he could speak with the other blonde who had raised an eyebrow. "For some reason that hollow had been residing within a living human body when I'd first discovered it," He explained. "Since the body is material-and perhaps due to some other forces- it was capable of keeping complete hollowfication at bay, but as you can see that did not work out quite as per normal."

"Oh, and Tessai-san, would you go find Jinta, Ururu, and Kon-san? It's time for them to come back now," Urahara said. Tessai nodded briefly and then headed off.

"The hollow was livin' in a human body?" The lanky blonde man repeated incredulously. "And it _didn't _kill it? How?"

"I'm not sure, Hirako-san," Urahara replied. "But I have a theory. I just need to confirm it. It'd be best if get to the training grounds before we do this." Hirako simply huffed in agreement.

Urahara lead the silence rendered group into the ruined shop. Perhaps instinctively, the two pairs-the shinigami and the two unknown men- stayed a ways apart. The group stepped around the haphazardly thrown away gigais and then watched the manager open up a secret compartment in floor leading downward to the inevitable location of the training room. Rather than making use of the ladder the group followed after Urahara's example of simply leaping down and using the reihei in the air to land softly.

"Oh, by the way," Urahara said suddenly making a vague gesture over his shoulder to the separated group. "Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san, meet Hirako Shinji and Ishoda Hachigen. Ishoda-san, Hirako-san, meet Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji."

Shinji turned a toothy grin on the two shinigami. "Yo."

The larger man nodded to the pair respectfully, not allowing the unconscious hollow to slide of his shoulder as he did so. "You may call me Hachi if you wish."

Rukia and Renji could only nod in response. The two turned away and Renji hitched the albino teen higher up his own shoulder, as Rukia's eyes moved over to its hollow counterpart slung on Hachi. He still looked the same; that was the worse part, she thought.

His feet had become tri-jointed; something like a claw grew off his ankle. She could see the pattern of swirling red reaching up underneath the remains of a shredded white hakama. Her eyes took in the blood dipped tail, the sharp white spikes, and stopped to linger on blaring hole in his back that inevitably lead out to his chest. Rukia could see all these things but it wasn't enough to stop her from recognizing the boy. He still looked too human, hollow but far too human. It was like he was purposefully lingering between forms, removing her will to kill him but taking her hope that he was still…_him_.

Renji tore himself from the swimming confusion in Rukia's eyes and focused on the ceiling of the room, painted to look exactly like a sunny blue sky. Around him was what appeared to be a massive canyon made of a dusty orange rock. The landscape stretched on, making him feel as if he were somewhere totally different than the basement of a shop.

The group stopped. Hachi lifted the hollow up off his shoulders and Rukia gaped as the tangles of white hair shifted for a split second to reveal a mask-less human face with two blood red markings curving up under the eye on the one side. He carefully placed the hollow face down on the ground, unable to put it on its back because of the tail and spikes. Renji followed suit by placing the human body up against a nearby rock. The group took several steps back.

"You ready Hachi?" Shinji asked after the large man sat down and folded his hands together with a focused expression. With Hachi's answer of yes, Urahara waved his fan.

"We'll need him conscious to answer any questions so I'll need someone to place Shiro-san within that body there," Urahara responded.

Renji walked back forward. "I'll do it."

A silence fell back over them and Renji carefully dragged the limp hollow over to the body. He was vaguely aware in the back of his mind how much he disliked even being this close to it. It was cold, like touching a dead body. He hoisted the hollow up by its arms and dropped the soul onto the body. It fell inside it and merged like fluid until the hollow had essentially disappeared only leaving a boy behind. The albino teen twitched visibly but had Renji's throat in his grasp, slamming the shinigami to the ground with a furious scream, faster than anyone could blink.

Quickly recovering, Renji threw a punch at the albino and connected with his face sending him stumbling back. Shiro snarled and wiped his face with the side of his arm. It was clear his initial burst of speed attacking the red-haired man was all he had. His body swayed and he dropped to one knee. Ignoring Renji, he turned a glare on the silent shop keeper. "_You_…you set me up," He hissed.

Urahara mocked surprise sending an unpleasant jolt through the already tense atmosphere. "Now Shiro-san, I did no such thing! I had no idea you'd be so reckless as to try an break into my shop while I was away!"

Shiro twitched in aggravation. "Oh, really? You mind explainin' how you showed up in the nick of bloody time? Or how come fucking _Hirako_ is here? Or how about why the fuck my hollow form's all messed up?!"

Five pairs of eyes widened in that moment, including Urahara's, which Shiro could see even despite the shadow cast by his hat. Shiro ground his teeth together.

Urahara's expression of surprise settled into an unreadable mask, which was partly unnecessary because most of his face was hidden by his hat and fan anyway.

"Ah, so it's true then…" he sighed.

Shiro's body tensed. "What's true…?"

"Shiro-san did you realise that perhaps you are not the only soul occupying that body?"

"What?" Black and yellow eyes narrowed while Rukia's and Renji's widened. Hachi and Hirako weren't particularly surprised by this information and made no change in face.

"What're ya' saying? Ichigo's not with me," Shiro growled. The two shinigami's shock changed to confusion.

Urahara raised a brow from under his hat. "Kurosaki Ichigo-san? No, I mean another soul."

Now everyone looked confused. Shiro's eyes searched for the answer in the blonde haired manager but found nothing. "…wait, are you talkin' about the kid's soul? Cuz' if you are it ain't here. I've already checked."

"Shiro-san, I'm sure you know already that it's possible for a soul to break into separate pieces, into halves, let's say," Urahara said suddenly. Shiro narrowed his eyes in suspicion, not answering but Urahara was able to confirm it by his face.

"It takes some interesting circumstances to cause such a thing but it happens. Were you aware of the small fraction of Kurosaki Mashiro's soul living within that body the time you entered it?"

Shrio's, Rukia's, Renji's, even Hirako's and Hachi's warped into varying degrees of surprise, shock and disgust.

"Perhaps not, but it seems clear to me what has happened."

Hirako Shinji's reiatsu flew suddenly and he drew the sword he'd been carrying within its sheath. He flashed in front of the weakened hollow and held the sword at its neck. A glowing barrier rose up from the ground, cutting the two shinigami off. Shiro's furious expression merely became slightly more impassive. The only thing that betrayed him was his piercing half-lidded eyes, but Rukia couldn't sense what the emotion she thought she saw _was,_ swimming within the deadly saffron pools.

Hirako's expression easily matched the hollow's with the same unreadable fervour in his voice. "I don't know what th' fuck's going on here, or who you are but I'm not gonna hesitate to kill ya' just because you have another soul. There is no reason to allow you to live when you'll only end up causin' more trouble than you're worth. A human soul cannot survive being a part of a hollow soul and if there is no way to save the shinigami within you, then I'll just have to kill you now."

A harsh bitter laugh escaped from the hollow and Rukia felt her skin crawl at the smirk that made his way across his face. At the same time her mind was trying to keep up with everything that was being said. There were some things that she couldn't grasp at all, like Shiro having 'a shinigami within him'. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

"Che…of course you'd say that. Everyone always assumes. Don't you think it's rather hypocritical to be sayin' somethin' like tha', Hirako?" The albino laughed again, "Just so ya' know, I _didn't _kill him. He beat me. But if it makes ya' feel any better, I plan on killing him eventually, just as soon as I get back to him."

"If you didn't kill him, why do you not have any shinigami reiatsu?" Hirako tested him.

The hollow growled. "I don't have him. He's probably still in the _real_ world, training with you vizards." Hirako's eyes widened.

"Real world?"

"Yes, the real world, the one where I came from, where my shinigami half is still probably parading around in without me."

"You separated," he said, making it more into a statement than a question.

Shiro frowned. "You could say that."

Hirako's eyes narrowed. "How?"

The hollow smirked. "No idea."

"Kisuke, this is nuts! What th' fuck kinda information are you expecting from him?" Shinji snapped over his shoulder, calling to the man outside the glowing orange barrier. He did nothing to respond to Shinji.

"What was the last thing you remember doing Shiro-san?" Urahara questioned calmly. Shiro looked over with a raised eyebrow, those sharp eyes catching the two watching shinigami again, and then turned a taunting grin back onto Hirako.

"An inner world battle."

It couldn't have been any less powerful to Hirako than a freight train. Rukia wondered if she'd ever been this confused in her life and Renji wondered if maybe he'd slept through a chunk of shinigami academy, neither one understanding what the three were talking about. The man, Hachigen Ishoda, though focused on holding the barrier, seemed absorbed in the conversation with the same emotion as Shinji.

"And your motives?"

"Excuse me?" the hollow asked, the smirk completely wiped off his face.

"Did you come here on purpose? What are your motives?" Urahara repeated.

Shiro scoffed. "I have none. Can't you tell what I am? I'm a creature of instinct. A motive is just an excuse."

"Then what are your instincts telling you to do?"

Shiro grinned tightly and his irises glinted. "The same as every other hollows' are."

"And yet for the past few days you've made no violent action against anyone, denying instincts that would've overwhelmed any other hollow by now, and have been easily falling into place with average life," Urahara asserted resolutely. Rukia wasn't sure if she'd merely imagined her friend's wince.

"You people ask a lot of questions. As usual, no one bothers to answer anything I ask," Shiro tched. "To answer you, I said I was a creature of instinct, not a moron. If I want to get back to where I came from I might need those people later, and maybe I just wasn't feeling that particularly hungry at the time. As for falling in, no one ever seems to acknowledge this, but I was human once too ya' know."

Rukia shifted uncomfortably beside Renji at the sharpness of the statement. There was no mistaking the accusation in his voice but at whom was it directed? She was missing so much of the story but the story was already burning before her eyes. Everyone else seemed to react similarly but this only caused the Shiro's eyes to narrow even more.

He pointed over at the fan-waving shop manager. "Now _you, _you say that the kid's soul is still in this body but you failed to explain how that has anything to do with my hollowfication so let me ask again; Where. The fuck. Is my mask?"

He wasn't making the situation any better for himself. Rukia could feel her doubt in her friend winning her over. This person in front of her was not Shiro.

'_But he recognized who you were,' _a voice reminded her. '_How else could he know you?_'

'…_Yes,_ _but he's so different'_ she thought back. '_He's changed so much…in only a months time of being away…'_

"Shiro…what _happened_ to you…?" she breathed. The sharp gold irises shot to meet hers and for just a split second she saw it. He covered it up so quickly she doubted he even realised it had shown through at all and turned back to whom he had directed his question to. No one else seemed to have heard her or seen the sliver of something in his eyes, not even Renji who stood beside her.

'_He's still in there somewhere…thank god…'_

Urahara's voice cut through her relief. "It is a rather interesting phenomenon that something like this should happen but I have reason to believe that what's left of Kurosaki Mashiro's soul has formed some sort of shell around your soul, preventing some of your hollowfication and the death of its body. As for your mask, well, if you fill a glass up to the top and then pour the exact same amount of water in after words, then the water spills out by exactly that much that was in the cup. But if you only pour in, say, three quarters of that, only three quarters spills out."

"Hmph, a metaphor, you've been watching me haven't you?" Shiro grinned tightly, irritation flitting across his face. "So what you're saying is my soul split when I came here and I left a part of me-including my shinigami half- behind?"

"Essentially," Urahara nodded. "That is the only way that the body could encompass two souls without containing an inner world to keep one of the souls in. The result of this is what leaves your hollowfication so humanoid and why you lack a mask."

"So the fucker stole my mask too after taking everything else from me. And to think I was gonna let him use my power." Shiro shook his head. Hirako noticed his slight movement and tightened his stance, pushing the blade closer to Shiro's neck.

"Kisuke, if that's true, why hasn't the human soul worn away yet? If spiritual entities fuse together like that, the human soul will eventually become hollow as well or be devoured by the actual hollow."

"Anti-coalescence pill!" The insane shop keeper cried jovially, extracting a bottle of pills from within his haori and holding it up, simultaneously making everyone jump. "Stops any merging of spiritual bonds ands strengthens individual souls as well as the physical body! Made especially for this particular situation! But no worry Shiro-san! I'll just take it off Kurosaki Mashiro-san's paycheck."

The hollow's eye twitched. "That's what you drugged me with earlier? Why do you even give a damn about Ichigo's brother?"

Urahara's eyes vanished within the shadow of his hat. "I told you; I'd hate to lose valuable workers."

"Che…"

Hirako looked the hollow over once more then over at the shop manager and frowned. The barrier glowed and shattered around the two, making the hollow blink in surprise. Shinji turned his back on the group.

"I came here because you said that he seemed to be an inner hollow. We've spent an entire centuy dealin' with our own. I don't feel like dealin' with this one anymore than this. Call us when you actually feel like sharin' some answers, Kisuke. Let's go, Hachi."

The pink haired man looked like he was about to argue but then sighed. With one shunpo, the pair vanished. Urahara, again, made no comment. The two shinigami turned to stare at the speechless hollow. The hollow stared after the spot Shinji and Hachi had just stood.

The hollow shook his head and griped his spiky white tresses of hair. "What is _wrong_ with this place?!"

The albino boy stood and stormed toward the ladder leading out of the training grounds.

"H-hey! We still have some questions!" The red-haired man snapped, finally finding his voice and running after the other male.

"Really? Well isn't that wonderful," Shiro responded coyly. He didn't stop.

"What makes you think you can just leave?" He kept on walking.

"The fact that I already am, maybe."

"Wait a minute!"

"Shiro!" Rukia called, adding to Renji's protests, though she too was ignored.

"Kuchiki-san, please make sure that Shiro-san takes this when he goes," the shop managed requested, appearing behind the aforementioned shinigami and throwing her the bottle of pills. His dark green haori floated dramatically as he turned away. "It seems I have more work to do."

Rukia's brows furrowed in confusion but then she recalled the escaping albino boy. He had climbed up to the top of the ladder and so Rukia decided to use a quick shunpo to catch up to him, nodding to Renji to do the same. They both caught the albino teen in the dark ruined shop front and grabbed his shoulders to stop him from moving any further.

They spoke in unison. "Where are you going?"

He didn't turn around. "Where do you think? I'm going home."

Renji raised a tattooed eyebrow, caught slightly off guard by the other's statement. "_Home?_"

Shiro shook them off. "No, the dentist. Yes, home! Fucking idiots_…"_

Shiro stormed ahead again and reached to pull aside the broken door. "Wait Shiro, you-!"

The albino froze and Renji's eyes snapped wide with surprise. From behind the 'door' stood a shocked, worn looking copy of the albino. Only it seemed perhaps that this one might've been the original for he was the same in every aspect except perfectly human and in no way albino with his bright orange hair, tanned skin, and amber, _human_ eyes. The teen looked slightly crazed, with wide worried eyes, complete with pronounced darks circles beneath them. In an instant of him registering the albino twin, the teen's worry morphed into fury.

The albino twin grinned awkwardly. "Hey… King…"

"YOU COMPLETE JACKASS!!!"

"Eh-heh- OW! HEY!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!"

The two shinigami sweat dropped.

* * *

**Okay, first things first I must let everyone know that Klecks is one of the best people **_**ever**_**! Thanks to her **_**Juxtaposed**_** now has fanart! Can you believe that? She totally rocks! Check out ze awesome here: ****http : // ****urrea . deviantart** . com / art / Shiro-nii-chan- 135271945 (take out the spaces) or go to my profile page, you'll know what te scene is right away. Check out her other stuff while you're at it. It's all awesomsauce. 

**And tell me everyone reading this has seen the new fillers by now. Seriously, September eighth 2009, hell froze over for the third/second week in a row. Shiro and Ichigo actually **_**worked together**_**. OMG, I was flipping **_**out.**_** I was so excited I rambled to my mom about it for three hours afterwards at an incredibly high speed, so much so my thoughts weren't keeping up, confusing the hell out of her, and all because I couldn't hold it in for any longer (and I have no Otaku friends to ramble properly to). It was **_**that **_**awesome. "He may have been a hollow once…but now he's a part of me." *insert infinite fan squeal here* Not to mention the purebred dogs and cats. XD (funnily enough, I already had a piece including a garden and Zangetsu planned for earlier, before I knew it was canon.) I hope Kubo had every part in this because if he did then there really is hope for a canon redeemable Shiro. :3 **

**Okay, now for some seriousness. This chapter hated me. Still hates me. It felt kinda anti-climatic. I'm not very happy with it. And yet, it's longer than any of the other chapters. WTF is with that? I confuse myself. **

**Sooo, I think that's a lot of the questions answered. I'm hoping I did okay with describing the difference in the hollow form, it being more humanoid, but just in case, it looks similar to the picture here: ****http : // tinypic . com / r / 2mhaih0 / 4**(except for the things I made sure to clearly describe, like the red markings, tri-jointed feet, etc) Please don't steal it or try to post it anywhere else, the artist specifically asked that no one use it without permission so _**please**_**, just look, nothing else. I'm trusting you all. **

**Personal note about the flashback at the beginning of the chapter: Now I don't know about other people but when I was a kid I thought things in much the same ways I do now. I can remember things-things I saw, things I thought, things that were said to me- from way, way back (oldest memory I have: two years old and I had the best bathing suit **_**ever.**_**). I've always been hyper aware of peoples feelings and thoughts and when I didn't understand a person or an emotion I would do my best to figure it out. My elementary school said it was empathy or something. It used to always bother me that no one else seemed to take this courtesy on any one else but even more so that, because I was young, they didn't think **_**I**_** could. Its things like "we can't tell them such-and-such because they're little. They won't understand." **

**I've had family die when I was young and people who were closer to me than family die too (laugh all you want, but this included my cats as well) and sometimes in very brutal ways (you know, getting your head smashed/murdered-I **_**found **_**that one-, hanging, stuff like that). Its upsetting yes, but nothing is more insulting to my intelligence than lying to me about it or out straight not telling me how it happened, because I was 'too young'. The funny thing is I was never told the truth as I got older. I figured it out from somebody else who didn't know **_**I**_** didn't know. To me, that was wrong and I'm not sure I'm ever gonna be able to forgive the person who lied to me just because it's happened too many times now. And neither time did it help at all, more, it seems like they had **_**two **_**deaths, both unpleasant kinds too. But that is why I had Isshin and Masaki tell Ichigo the truth, because-although Isshin wouldn't- Masaki would understand that knowing the truth about something like that is important and Ichigo despite being only five (six) **_**would**_** understand. So yes, there was a little self projection this chapter. So sue me. :P**

**Now review response! Yay! I love you guys! XD**

**kyra windwood: **LOL I really liked your review. I'm horrible aren't I? XD Hopefully this chapie explained…a little bit… *glances nervously from side to side*.

**TealEyedBeing: ***blushes* aw, thank you! Good job for catching on to that little impossibility. Before it was even pointed out too! Are you psychic? *narrows eyes*

**SendMoreParamedics: **Hm, that's a good point….ah, well, don't go without a parachute! Or is that the wrong sport for a parachute…

**PychoFreak17:** Che, whatever, I was Queen of newbs at one point XD. I have no problem with anything. I've decided not to write this with any pairings simply because, as you stated for yourself, no one really likes IchiHime that much (sometimes just not liking Orihime) and there really are too many people who feel the same for me to care about it anymore (I can save my shipping of that FLOL or something) and then I have a bunch of readers who really aren't into yaoi like yourself. This way both no one and everyone wins! :D (I was sooo tempted to put RenRuki in though. I tried to write them as just friends but I think I slipped just a teensy bit. Hopefully no one noticed. O.O )

Thank you for such an in depth review. I'm surprised to see you say that I had no spelling mistakes; usually typos end up devouring my stories. Glad you appreciated that little piece of fan info regarding Shiro and as for Zangetsu being a badass? I think he practices, I mean, how can a spirit of a sword NOT be badass? Besides, he has to deal with two bickering teenagers all day, potentially for the rest of his existence, one being a stubborn idiot protector and the other being a lovable but homicidal maniac. He deserves this. XD

**Yays4Pie: **Your welcome. And kill off Shirosaki-sama?!? That'd be terrible! What would I live for then? I'm not _that_ evil…possibly… .

**Barranca:** No it definitely didn't XD (Since I am at the current moment in control of his universe, he really hates me now. But hey, at least I'm nicer to him than Kubo! *listens as Shiro grumbles in the background about evil demonic writers giving him the worst luck in the whole freaking universe*).

**Asuki-chan: **Another long delightfully enthusiastic review. Have I told you how much awesomesauce you are made of yet? *glomps you* [P.S. A Konso is a soul burial. It's that thing that the shinigami do to send whole souls to the soul society. It's that thing that puts a little stamp on their forehead with the end of their sword.] I tried to write this new chapter as fast as I could. I really hope I didn't kill anyone off from waiting. ^^;

Yes, it drives me crazy when they just use him as a tool for evilness. Even if he's not a good guy, I think it's good to at least explore why. I'm a huge supporter of empathy for characters and real people. Inner feelings and thoughts, as you put it, make my world go 'round. XD Thanks for being so awesome. 3

**Thanks a bunch also to PaperBagGhost & Kai-Chan94, plus all those who favourited this story or put it on alert. 3**

**Last chapter got nine reviews, the most reviews so far. It was quite exciting. We stopped at 49 reviews. It'd be really cool to reach 60 this time. If so, I will give virtual Shirosaki plushies to everyone. Thanks for being so awesome you guys!**


End file.
